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Saturday, March 25, 2017

THE MOTORBIKE PIKE AND THE BEAR

Herman was a northern pike,
He rode around on a motorbike,
When the wind dried his scales,
Into a ditch Herman bails,
Where he was ate by a bear named Big Mike.

 

Friday, March 24, 2017

COMPOST PILE FIRES HAVE CONSEQUENCES

My compost pile caught fire and burned down my garden shack,
Now, when I'm done working I have no place to put tools back,
So, my tools lay in the yard,
Getting rusty, crusty hard.
And, I cannot replace them because the finances I lack.


Thursday, March 23, 2017

POINTY FINGERS THE TATTLETALE

Pointy Fingers was a tattletale,
He made small crimes sound like a whale,
He would sing like a bird,
But, no one ever heard,
They ignored his constant regale.

Pointy Fingers was a nasty tattletale,
He snitched on his friends and made them all bail,
He was not confidence bound,
So, he was not welcomed around,
If he was seen coming in the other directions they'd sail.

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

THE QUILLS AND THRILLS OF JASON JOHN JR.


Jason John Jr. was a man seeking  great thrills,
Jason John Jr. was covered with porcupine quills,
He once bested a bear,
Gave a rhino a scare,
One touch and any beast runs for the hills. 

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

CARRIE CHEATS AT CHECKERS

Carrie likes to cheat at checkers,
Making false kings via double-deckers,
If you turn away for a time,
She'll add crowns down the line,
For she's the queen of fair game wreckers.

 

Monday, March 20, 2017

DINER OR DINNER?

I stare, boar stares back,
I see pork, boar sees chicken,
Diner or dinner?

Sunday, March 19, 2017

THE CLOUD SWIMMER

Carrie the fish swam up in the clouds,
She swam way up there to avoid all the crowds,
For space she didn't vie,
It was quiet in the sky,
The packed ocean had a bad case of the clouds.

Saturday, March 18, 2017

NANCY TRIED TO PLAY THE FLUTE

Nancy tried to play the flute,
But, she could not make it toot,
Her tone was all air,
But, Nancy didn’t care,
Her daddy was loaded with loot.

Friday, March 17, 2017

A LEPRECHAUN RODE HIS GOOSE TO TOWN

A leprechaun rode his goose to town,
His goose to town,
His goose to town,
A Leprechaun rode his goose to town,
To the leprechaun party,

A leprechaun rode his bunny to town,
His bunny to town,
His bunny to town,
A leprechaun rode his bunny to town,
To the leprechaun party,

A leprechaun rode his turkey to town, 
His turkey to town,
His turkey to town,
A leprechaun rode his turkey to town,
To the leprechaun party,

A leprechaun rode his hamster to town,
His hamster to town,
His hamster to town,
A leprechaun rode his hamster to town,
To the leprechaun party,

A leprechaun rode his lamb to town,
His lamb to town,
His lamb to town,
A leprechaun rode his lamb to town,
To the leprechaun party,

A leprechaun rode his tuna to town,
His tuna to town,
His tuna to town,
A leprechaun rode his tuna to town,
To the leprechaun party,

A leprechaun rode his chicken to town,
His chicken to town,
His chicken to town,
A leprechaun rode his chicken to town,
To the leprechaun party,
 
A leprechaun rode his goat to town,
His goat to town,
His goat to town,
A leprechaun rode his goat to town,
To the leprechaun party,

A leprechaun rode his turtle to town,
His turtle to town,
His turtle to town,
A leprechaun rode his turtle to town,
To the leprechaun party,

A leprechaun rode his chipmunk to town,
His chipmunk to town,
His chipmunk to town,
A leprechaun rode his chipmunk to town,
To the leprechaun party,

A leprechaun rode his gopher to town,
His gopher to town,
His gopher to town,
A leprechaun rode his gopher to town,
To the leprechaun party,

A leprechaun rode his parrot to town,
His parrot to town,
His parrot to town,
A leprechaun rode his parrot to town,
To the leprechaun party,

A leprechaun rode his black bear to town,
His black bear to town,
His black bear to town,
A leprechaun rode hs black bear to town,
And, the bear ate everyone at the party.

PICKERS FOUND THE LEPRECHAUN'S GOLD

The poor little leprechaun was feeling real bad,
For he lost all of his gold and that was so sad,
Then, while watching the antique show pickers,
He soiled his knickers,
For his gold was the best pick that they had.
 
 
The poor antique show pickers are feeling real bad,
They found the leprechaun's gold and he got real mad,
They got a pain-in-the-back curse,
And, what was even much worse,
The gold was not solid just clad. 

 

Thursday, March 16, 2017

THE FOOD POISONING LIMERICK

My jar of pickles was suspiciously fizzy,
I ate just one pickle and became really dizzy,
I became violently ill, 
From that pickle with dill,
And, made the emergency room awfully busy. 

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

THE CURSE OF SPIDERS

In my trailer by the bay,
The menacing spiders won't go away,
The spiders bit upon my lip,
Upon my fingers, belly, hip,
The curse of spiders and I obey.


Monday, March 13, 2017

THE TENOR PIG THAT MADE IT BIG

I gave my pig a real fair choice,
Become a ham or use his voice,
His tenor voice was brilliant,
Really opera resilient,
Now, his ride is a custom Rolls Royce. 

Sunday, March 12, 2017

BENNY BUILT A TIME MACHINE





Benny built a time machine,

But, he benefited not,

For when he went back to change the past,

The future he forgot.
 

Saturday, March 11, 2017

I POEMED THE ZOMBIES

In the streets the zombies roamed, 
Their mouths were drooling while nostrils foamed,
But, I valued my hide,
So, I stayed in side,
And, the zombie saga I poemed.

THE FLYING FISH IN THE EYE LIMERICK

A flying fish stabbed me deep in my eye,
Of course it made me wail and then cry,
The many tears were ill spent,
For fish loved saltwater scent,
So, into my face many fishes did fly.

Friday, March 10, 2017

MY SALMON FISHING DAY

Salmon fishing, cold,
Leaky waders, wet socks, POW!!!
Run over, boat, OUCH!!!

Thursday, March 9, 2017

REGARDING TUNA FISH

Regarding tuna fish, I was it's biggest fan,
Until yesterday when, I opened up a can,
It was just fins and bones,
And scales of all tones,
Maybe, I shouldn't buy the cheaper store brand.

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

DAISIES ON THE BARN WALLS

Bob painted daisies on his barn walls one day,
To calm down his horses as they ate their hay,
Then, in one awful haste,
The horses just had to taste,
And, the barn walls and the daisies went away.