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Tuesday, October 17, 2017

WOODSTOVE POISION GAS HAIKU

Woodstove, top, hot iron,
Plastic cup, woodstove top, melt,
FLAMES, SMOKE,  POISOIN GAS ..

Monday, October 16, 2017

THE FURNACE

My furnace does not keep me warm,
It dies when there is a snow storm,
It's not so fun,
When your heater don't run,
And on your nose the icicles form.

Sunday, October 15, 2017

THE BALLAD OF MR. TIM THE WOODCHUCK .

Arnie had a pet woodchuck,
His name was Mr. Tim,
Mr. Tim liked to play all day,
Upon his jungle gym,

Mr. Tim ate beef jerky,
Sometimes he’d eat pot pie,
On holidays he would eat turkey,
Served with mayonnaise on rye,

Mr. Tim was an odd woodchuck,
Because he never tried to chuck wood,
Mr. Tim never had to earn a buck,
Because his master treated him good.







MY DEER DECISION

I decided not to go out and hunt any deer,
My blind didn't have cable and just one rabbit ear,
So, at home I watched cable,
And, dined on my coffee table,
While, drinking bottles and bottles of beer.


Saturday, October 14, 2017

I GRABBED A WILD TURKEY BY THE BEAK

I grabbed a wild turkey by the beak,
I thought it would stay calm but, boy did it freak,
It squawked a turkey alarm,
Then it bit off my arm,
Now a doctor is just what I seek.

Thursday, October 12, 2017

CORRINE THE MERMAID IN GRAND TRAVERSE BAY

Corrine is a mermaid in Grand Traverse Bay,
She is shy so if she sees you she will swim away,
She swims free like a trout,
But, watches all about,
I'd like to meet and greet her one day.

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

AT DOMINOES I STINK BUT, AT CHESS I WIN WITH DRINK

Little numbers I'm not good to choose,
So, at dominoes I was destined to loose,
So, I played at chess,
The moves I did guess,
I did better; I think it were the good booze.

CHIPMUNK VS SQURREL SHOPPIING PHILOSOPHY

The squirrel went to a regular store,
The chipmunk shopped online,
The chipmunk drank his cheap label beer,
The squirrel sampled fine cheese and wine.

Tuesday, October 10, 2017

MUTINY IN THE STEW

I went fishing for a dogfish,
But, all I caught was another log-fish,
So, I fed my crew,
Some log-fish stew,
They mutinied after a sword swish.

THERE ONCE WAS A CROCODILE NAMED LARRY LIMERICK 1

There once was a crocodile named Larry,
He was the only crock that was hairy,
His fangs were real long,
His claws sharp and strong,
He certainly looked very scary.

Monday, October 9, 2017

THE ROAD MOST TAKEN

If you take the road most taken,
You’ll bring home a lot of bacon,
Take the road that’s not,
You won’t have a pot,
Then, with your family you will be forsaken.

Sunday, October 8, 2017

WILLIE THE WEASAL WARRIOR LIMERICK

Willie was a weasal warrior,
He read Huck Finn but, not Tom Sawyer,
He liked to play hearts,
And, occasionally darts,
At night he'd sing on his foyer.

Saturday, October 7, 2017

MOON STRANDED DREAMS

Four stranded astronauts were sitting on a moon,
Dreaming of banana bread and a Saturday cartoon,
Then, one of them got silly,
And, dreamed of Cajun chili,
Then, they all dreamed ice cream was coming very, very soon.



TIME IS NOT KIND

Time is not kind,
It brings no peace of mind,
Your muscles go gooey slack,
And, there is that sharp pain in the back,
Your body is ready for an archeologist find

MAILBOX FORLORN-HAIKU

Mailbox, forlorn soul,
Icy road, bad driver,
 SMASH! Metal scraps, goodbye.

Friday, October 6, 2017

THE LITTLE BEE NAMED BARRY LIMERICK

There was a little bee named Barry,
He couldn’t get a girlfriend ‘cause his legs were hairy,
So he tried to groom,
Shaved his legs zoom, zoom,
But, now his legs look ten times as scary.

WRONG TURN AT THE MACARONI FACTORY

I went to the factory where they shape macaroni like bows,
The kind that when you boil it is modestly grows,
But, I made a wrong turn,
So, what did I learn?
Well, it was how to macaroni shaped "O's." 
 

Thursday, October 5, 2017

Wednesday, October 4, 2017

GRANNY LIKED TO CATCH FISH OUT OF SEASON LIMERICK

Granny liked to catch fish out of season,
She liked to eat them that was her reason,
She caught bass and brown trout,
And any others about,
She ate fresh fish but most were for freezen.

Tuesday, October 3, 2017

SWIMMERS ITCH LIMERICK

Pauline and Paula got swimmers itch,
Because they went swimming in a ditch,
They ignored the no swimming sign,
So now they both pine,
For a swimming hole without a big hitch.