MY ELECTION SURPRISE

I am losing my election, and I'm guessing I must cheat,

Nobody likes me, after I gave out some free, pickled meat,

My manager, Little Tony,

Handed out hunks of bologna,

The bologna was spoiled; people puked; now I smell defeat.

JIMMY AND HIS BETTER ANGLES

Jimmy picked up many earthworms and put them in glass jars,

He took out the dead ones, and fed them to his kitty, Lars,

He saved his better angles,

For trophy fish entangles,

Sometimes Jimmy caught northern pike, but often he caught gars.

RED NECK LAWN ORNAMENT

Fast forward my little truck, will never, ever go,

The engine won't turnover, and that's pretty, darn slow,

I took it to repair,

That ended in despair,

The car's rusting in my yard, and around it I Mow.

DONNY BED ROTTER

Big, bad Donny was bed rotting for days and days,

He only left bed to do potty or to graze,

Donny drank soda sip, sip, sip,

Then on the potty, he would rip,

Donny sucked down tater chips; one of his strange ways.

SOMEONE GOT IN A SCRAPE AT THE BAR

I went to the to The Two Bird Bar,

Somebody keyed my new sporty car,

When I came outside,

I cried and I cried,

The mean patrons went hardy, har, har.

MAKING STEW ON A BUDGET

I just got home, and I put on water for stew,

I put on some coffee, and I'm making that new,

I do not have any meat,

Or vegetables to eat,

My stew will have road salt, and some black pepper too

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