HAPPY GUY FAWKES DAY, UNLESS YOU'RE MADAM POLLY

Today I took a walk with my ugliest big dolly,

I got her at age two, and named her Madam Polly,

I took her to the glen,

With her doll friends Mike and Ben,

It was November five, Polly paid for Guy's big folly.

I RESPECT THE COWS

I love cows because from them comes cheese,🧀💓

Cows make my milk and scent my breeze,🍶💩👃

Ode to the farm,🐖🐎🦃🐔🐓😳

May the cows know no harm,🐮

Except for the hind quarter, I freeze.🐄🍔

THE CHEESECAKE LIMERICK

As I was smoking on my fresh bought greens,

I decided to open some canned beans,

And found in them a snake,

Eating caramel cheesecake,

I had none, cause that's not where my diet leans.

MIKE THE TURKEY WILL BE EATEN

Mike the turkey went to higher ground,

Where he thought his safety sound,

But hunter Pete,

Wanted turkey meat,

And got poor Mike with just one round.

MY GREAT EXPECTATIONS

I was born having great expectations,

Alas, they stayed only aspirations,

For when I grew up,

It took all my coin just to sup,

In mom's basement, smoking my medications.

BENNY AND HIS UNIVERSE AND PIE

Benny has a great big tree,
Where he sits up in the sky,
Eating his potato chips,
And, eating apple-pumpkin pie,

Benny ponders on the universe,
While filling up his face,
And, wishes for a soda pop,
To fill his existential place.

WHY I CAN'T HUNT NO MORE

I went out hunting bear,
The bear went out hunting me,
I dropped my gun and went on the run,
But the bear beat me to my RV,

I went out hunting deer,
I shot at an enormous buck,
I missed and hit a little doe,
My fine could have bought truck,

I went out hunting turkeys,
But I did not see a one,
I accidentally shot my neighbors goose,

Then a judge said my hunting was done.

MY HALLOWEEN PUMPKIN SPICE CAKE

The only way I'll make a cake,🍩

Is if it's fried; I never bake.💥

I'll include a pinch of pumpkin spice,🎃

It's Halloween, it will taste nice,👻💩

Then, I'll serve it with fried eggs and stake.🐔🐮

THERE WAS NOTHING BUT METHANE ON PLANET D

There was nothing but methane on old planet "D",

Then, I lit up my cigar and the planet went "B",
Oh what a day,
It blew me away,
Now, I'm flying at light speed by old planet "Z".