INVASION OF THE NOSE COOTIES

Jimmy was invaded by cooties; they ran up his big nose,

Some cooties dripped out in ice-snot, when the temperatures froze,

Jimmy said a little later,

He was a nose cootie hater,

That was after the doc flushed the nose cooties, out with a hose.

I'M A SCHOLAR WITH A DOLLAR AND BUGS

I felt rich when I found in my wallet, a dollar,

I felt smart when I read me a book, a scholar,

I still felt so defeated,

When everyone tweeted,

That like a dog, I needed an tick and flea collar.

FRUIT FLIES

In my home, the fruit flies found caves where they could sleep,

The caves were my nostrils, I blew out a huge heap,

The fruit flies flew away,

 Until later that day,

I found fruit flies in my eye ducts, and I did weep.

THE PROBLEM WITH MY ROOMMATE

I once had a problem, his name was Sid,

Sid was a bedbug, I could not get rid,

Sid would hold me real tight,

And would bite me all night,

Then early next morning, Sidney got hid.

PHIL AND THE INFESTATION

Phil had bugs in his clothes, and up his nose,

The bad bugs gave Phil the itchiness woes,

Phil ripped his clothes clean off,

Blew his nose, then a cough,

Phil built a fire, and burned up his foes.

EYE HOLE DIGGERS

Some ticks fell down from the heavenly, blue sky,

They fell from the dead willow tree; oh dear, my,

I ran to my hotrod,

But, no use was my bod,

I was blind, because they dug holes in each eye.

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BILLY GOT ITCHY

Bill penned out a song that was extraordinary, real nice,

He made the melody on his harmonica, device,

The record was a go,

And, Bill loved the cash flow,

But, he got served for divorce, because he brought home leg lice.

SCRATCHING, AND JIMMY BLEEDS OUT

Jimmy thought the night was going real nice,

Then he got to itching on his head lice,

He scratched and bled,

By morn he was dead,

He was consumed by the cat, rats and mice.

RIP Jimmy RIP😢

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LOTIONS,AND POTIONS AND WORMS IN THE EARS

Jimmy had worms burrowing deep into his ears,

He had worm eggs sliding down his face in his tears,

He bought topical lotions,

And consumable potions,

He got better, and told his saga over beers.

IT'S WARM UP IN JEB'S NOSE

There were some little creepy crawlers that lived between Jeb's toes,

When it got really cold out, some of the creepy crawlers froze,

They climbed clear up Jeb's legs, and back,

Then toward Jeb's face, they launched an attack,

And when the cold winds blew again, they warmed up in Jebies nose.

I DIDN'T BRING HOME A PAYCHECK, BUT I BROUGHT HOME BEDBUGS INSTEAD

I brought home little bedbugs in my shoes,

They will bite you all over, if they choose,

If you have some blood,

They'll make you their bud,

And the red spots, will proclaim the bad news.

THE INFESTED

My refrigerator is infested with the bug called, the flea,

When I open the refridge door, they jump out all over me,

Now I itch and scratch, scratch,

Still, more fleas on me hatch, hatch,

And, I'm coughing up some worms; won't Mother Nature leave me be.

THE BUG AWAY POWER OF CREAMS

My brother, from the time he was six,

Was crawling with head lice and ticks,

He had bug away power,

By taking a shower,

And anti-itch cream was the fix.

I SWAM ACROSS A POND OF SCUM

I went swimming in a scum-pond, wearing shorts,

My body got covered with black, squishy warts,

I scissored them off,

But developed a cough,

I've been consuming cough syrup by quarts.

THERE'S A POTATOE GROWING IN MY PARASITE INFESTED PANTS

Last fall out in my garden, I got a tater in my cloths,

It made a home in my painter pants, and now it grows and grows,

Guessing the fert, I had lots of maybes,

Turns out taters love dead scabies,

I now have a tater farm, and my painter paints, I sews.

FOUND THE NEXT DAY

Scabies covered nearly all of my skin,

They're itchiness gave me a grimacing grin,

The next day I was found,

I bled out on the ground,

The police said to my next of kin.

TEN TIMES PLUS THRICE

I'm afraid I feel not nice,

Because my hair has a load of lice,

I bought lice poo; paid big price,

Poo not work; shaved head; ate rice,

I've now had lice ten times plus thrice.

PIG MITES

There were little mites that lived on my pig,

They were irritating, so in mud my pig would dig,

But to even the score,

The mites would bite more,

Now some mites colonized my best wig.

WORM CIRCLES, URINE AND BLEACH

Circles, circles, circles on my eyelids and my nose,

I figured I had ringworm, and I got it from my cloths,

So I asked my favorite teach,

He said bath in urine mixed with bleach,

Now I have no skin or hair, from my head down through my toes.

TICK SICK

Lots of people are getting the sicks,

Because they're being bitten by little ticks,

Of course gasoline, 

Got me really clean, 

But I should of stayed away from lit candle wicks.🚬