FOOD FROM THE WEB

I'm eating spiders and their eggs,

They have no flavor and meatless legs,

But, they taste better than flies,

With their big bulging eyes,

Or, worms with bodies divided in segs.

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FLIES IN THE PIE SAFE

My pie safe was filled up with pies,
And, the pies were covered with flies,
Although my deserts looked like doom,
Guests filled my dining room,
So, for desert I substituted French fries.

 

MUNCHIES FOR MAGGOTS

I eat maggots because they taste so good,

I eat maggots because I feel I should,

I eat maggots with a dash of clay,

Cannot crawl out my belly that way,

I'd rather eat maggots, than a Red Ridding Hood.

THE WINEMAKER BRAGS AND PUCKERS

My homemade wine was doing fine, until the little flies came calling,

The little flies contaminated my wine, and then I couldn't stop bawling,

The little flies had put me in a real bad place,

Their vinegar wine gave me a pucker-face,

My friends want a glass of my bragged up wine, and I just keep on stalling.

THE WISEST FLY ON THE PIE

The wisest fly on the pie,
Knew to vacate after the flies caught my eye,
And, as the wisest fly flew away,
The others breathed my bug spray,
Just one fly left and he's faster than I.

OLD WHIPPLE'S DIPPED APPLES

Old Whipple was not in the head, right, 
He dipped apples and left them out overnight,
To no one's surprise,
The apples were covered with flies,
Old Whipple served them as though they came out just right.

BEEF ROAST WITH SQUIRMING RICE

My beef roast was loaded with squirming rice with eyes,

Finding rice in my roast was quite a surprise,

I queried how they got there?

And, the answer grayed my black hair,

It seems they were laid there by swarming black flies.  

FLIES IN A JAR

For most flies have such little appeal,
Yet, I decided to keep flies in a jar with a seal,
They are comforting pets,
With their appendage sets,
Now, I promote them as pets with a zeal.

THE FLIES COME HATCHING OUT

The flies come hatching out,

Then,  through my window screen redoubt,

I swing flyswatter with flair,

But, it needs much repair,

My home swarms with flies all about.

THE SPRING OF DECAY

Spring is here and there's mold on my bread,

The flies are breeding, maggots are fat and well fed,

My food all rots away,

It's all in a state of decay,

At least the food I found under my bed.

THE NO-SEE- EM FLIES

Jon was attacked by the no-see-em flies,
When attacked in mass everyone dies,
Poor Jon fell asunder,
By the no-see-em plunder,
He never could say his goodbyes.