LIVE

Live this life the best you can for it's all you're going to get,

And, all the reverends who tell you different, 

Are just perverts full of shit.

THE ALIEN TOOTHACHE

The peanut was stuck in my black hole cavity,

By antimatter, antioxidants and antigravity,  

And, in the space-time of my brain,

I felt space alien pain,

The goober is Earth's defense by depravity.

DON'T TRUST BEARS CAUGHT BENEATH A TREE

I found a bear caught beneath a fallen tree,
I got behind him and pushed the big bear free,
I thought I made a new friend,
But, where did I end?
In the bear's belly; where else would I be?

RILEY'S HIDDEN RAINBOW

Riley hid his rainbow just off his reading room,

Dreading dear dad discover thus, demanding Riley's doom,

Cased within calm closets care,

Riley's rainbow rested there,

Until, the future world came, Boom!

THE NEIGHBORLY HILLS

They slashed my tires and cut the lines to my brakes,

They blew up my mailbox and in my pumpkins, drove stakes,

In my neighborhood,

Most are proud they're no good,

So, I never accept gifts of cookies or cakes.

MY HAMSTER IN SPACE

I gave a bath to my hamster one fine day,
Next day, he got revenge in his own way,
When I gave my fella a little hand stroke,
His sharp teeth gave my hand a really deep poke,

Blood spurted and spurted all over the floor,
All over the doorknob as I rushed out the door,
I grabbed my cell phone and the ambulance came quick,
Then, it was off to the hospital; the sight of blood made me sick,

Luckily, the bleeding was quickly stopped,
A single small bandage covered the vein that was popped,
After a week in the hospital I was all healed,
The little scab under the bandage was easily peeled,

At home my hamster had taken over my house,
He chased off the dog and ate my pet grouse,
He ripped up my newspapers and made a nest in my bed,
Increasing I wished that my hamster was dead,

Of course, I decided to serve up revenge that was ice cold,
I developed a plan that was clever and bold,
To this hamster I was especially nice,
I spoke in soft words and bought him toys so high priced,

Then, when the hamster thought I'd  not seek retribution,
It was time for my plan to achieve institution,
Of course sweet revenge is what I sought and I got,
For I volunteered my hamster to be a deep space astronaut.