I FOUND ME NO ICE

I went out ice fishing but, found me no ice,

I had a brisk swim and, I guess that was nice,

I dove deep for my gear,

I guess it's all here,

Next time I ice fish I'll think twice.

SCHNAPPS: BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS

Having a glass of schnapps for breakfast is a bad idea,

All it does is muddle the brain and gives one diarrhea,

But, how to stand everyday,

When gloom and doom be they,

And, the only friend I have at home is my pet named Chia.

DINNER FROM A BOTTLE

I picked up some bottles to get something to eat,

I was hoping to get maybe some meat for a treat,

But, I didn't get much coin,

Settled for animal groin,

Next time, I hope to afford the feet.

RAINBOW OVER THE GARDEN SHED

Just outback of the old homestead,                 

A rainbow flew over my garden shed,

It didn't last long,

But, I wrote it a song,

That rattles round and round in my head.

NO ROOM FOR THE POOL TABLE

I put a pool table in my bedroom but, it did not fit,

I moved the pool table to the bathroom but, then no one could sit,

My pool table didn't fit the den,

So, I had to move it once again,

I called the local haulers now, it's in the garbage pit.

A GARDEN WEED IN A SNOW STORM

On my poor little trailer it snowed and it snowed,
Until the roof caved in and the walls outward bowed,
Of course, the lights went out,
Rescue was really in doubt,
So, like a garden weed I knew I was hoed.

THE BACK TO SCHOOL LIMERICK

Back to school is always rough,

It sounds easy on paper but, that's just fluff,

Buying cloths, kits and shoes,

Texting for wardrobe reviews,

By day one you've had enough.

TAXES AND GRIEVING

I paid in lots of income taxes but, none of it I will retrieve,

I hoped that maybe this time I would get a just reprieve,

But, instead I'll have to pay,

Or, all my stuff they'll take away,

And, if all my stuff they take away, in that future I will grieve.

THE ODD SCHOOL EDUCATION

I went to the odd school,

No desk or chair, we had a stool,

We never learned about sums,

Were taught reading was for bums,

The kids did nothing but, picked nose and drool.

I WON'T UPSET THE PET BY WHAT I EAT

For my little goldfishy's sake,

I forgo eating all tuna stake,

He's comforted to see,

No fish ate by me,

He can't see the salmon in my bake.