DINING ALONE WITH A GOOSE

I drove off to the big city to get me some worked, grape juice,

It was really an attempt to avoid family abuse,

My family was mean, not nice,

Because I brought them home head lice,

I figure in the city, I'll sip some wine and eat some goose.

AND THE ANGELS SING, "HARK"

Deep, deep down in Lake Michigan water, where it is horribly, dark,

I swam straight into the big, smelly belly, of a hammerhead, shark,

In that big, hammerhead belly,

Was a stinging fish, a jelly,

I died, and now with the angels I sing, their favorite tune, called, "Hark".

BE A CHICKEN, BEA

I had a sweet, pretty chicken; the name was Bea,

Bea thought it was real human, and it talked like me,

I told Bea, "no, no, no",

"Your human talk must go,"

Bea hopped up on my face, and took a poop and pee.

SHIPPING

The snow drift in front of my house trailer,

Caused my porch a massive cave-in, failure,

My work, I skipped,

My boss, he flipped,

Because I missed my ship and I'm a sailor.

MISSING MARRY, AND ROOMS UNDER THE PEE LOG

My dinner mushrooms, were all bloody and hairy,

The same color hair as my missing cat, Mary,

The rooms were found by my dog,

Under his favored pee log,

In his cheeks, my dog, the mushrooms, he did carry.

MILL LUNCH

I put pickles with my dill,

Which is a real, common fill,

Sour, extra sharp,

Like a big toothed carp,

Lunch for my job at the mill.

COMMON COOKING ERRORS

I picked a cup of fat mushrooms, and fried them with my steak,

I picked a cup of blueberries, and baked them in my cake,

One of my terrible, big fails,

The berries had poisonous snails,

Also, I didn't clean the rooms, thus I had brain worm intake.

ONE HIT WONDER, RISE AND FALL

I was once a superstar, a regular one hit wonder,

I really cranked and blew out the ear buds, with righteous thunder,

I made eyeballs bleed,

I gave minds a feed,

Then came along my prettier version, and I went under.

HENS AND CHICKS WATCH FIRE

I pick up many of the biggest, toughest sticks,

I pick up sticks under trees with bark hard like bricks,

Big hard sticks make big hot fire,

Heats cluck klan, that's our desire,

Clucking hens and chirping chicks, watch burn sticks for kicks. 

MY TAX BREAK FOR BLUBBER AND TAILS

I got me a big tax break, to harvest all of the whales,

I can carve off their tasty blubber, to fat fry their tails,

Although, they did nothing wrong,

Whale critters, all got the gong,

I'll blow on my native pipes, a goodbye to big beasties song.