DONNY THE GOLDFISH SWIMS IN THE SEA

I had a goldfish named Donny T.

He was as belligerent as he could be,

So, I replaced Donny with Joe,

And, where did Donny go?

He swims in the toilet in the dark yellow sea.

A HOLE, A DUMP AND A VOWEL

A weasel, a skunk and a vowel,
All lived in the very same hole,
Then, along came a bear,
Who sat down on their lair,
And, took a dump and the hole space he stole.

POWDERED CHICKEN NUGGETS

I ate some chicken powdered nuggets,

They were frightful I must say,

In fact, I don't see why such a recipie,

Was ever shown the light of day,

I bought them at a deep-fat fried store,

They were so cheap I had to buy more and more,

But, there is one thing that gives my taste buds some peace,

The nuggets aren't bad heavily salted and dripping with grease.

THE DAY OF SEDITION

I went into the parlor to listen to some Bach,

I then ordered dinner when, I noticed the tic-tok,

The TV talked sedition,

As I consumed my noon nutrition,

After I was done eating, I went online and sold my stock.

NEW MOON ON FIRST OF JUNE WARNING

Never start the month of June,
When you start with a new moon,
Change the calander right away,
You had best move the day,
Or bad things will happen real soon.

SOMEONE WAS MAKING LOVE IN MY OUTHOUSE

Someone was making love in my outhouse,

Don't know who it was cause I wasn't there,

Could of been a weasle, could have been a skunk,

Then again, it could of been a bear,

Someone was making love in my outhouse,

I know cause the gossip's all around,

Don't know who just started all the rumors,

Got a hunch it might be that old bluetick hound,

Guess I'll have to ask my next door neighbor,

Maybe I'll ask my darling wifey too,

They're always out fixing up the outhouse,

I guess their painting the interior blue.

ZOMBIES COMING

When I saw the zombies coming,

Then, my heart began drumming,

There were so many I quit summing,

And, all I heard was corpses humming,

I knew it was a zombie day,

Most days are in the month of May,

I led the zombies into a pool of clay,

They got stuck so, that's where they'll stay,

I wouldn't be surprised come June,

If the zombies died out by the first full moon,

The full moon in June can't come too soon,

Then, I'll write a zombie poem and zombie tune.

WHERE HAVE ALL THE GOOBERS GONE?

Where have all the peanuts gone?

There's none to shuck when the night bleeds dawn,

There are none in a jar,

Or, under the seats of my car,

Did someone trade raising goobers for green lawn?

My Pandemic Struggles

The pandemic took me from riches to rags

I was cran-coloring pictures on crayon colored on bags,

And, my love ran off with some bloke,

Took my hard candy and Coke,

Now, I'm just tweeting all day with hashtags.