LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt
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Showing posts with label
children
.
Show all posts
Showing posts with label
children
.
Show all posts
Thursday, November 21, 2024
SODA POP, OLD
My soda was not hot, and my soda pop was not cold,
My soda pop was flat, because my soda was so old,
Most times, its cold and fizzy,
Which makes me brains, freeze dizzy,
That was the worst soda pop, and mommy, I rightly told.
Sunday, September 22, 2024
MY COUSINS CAME TO.VISIT, FROM CANADA
My Canadian cousins came to visit, and I think they ate my cats,
They are two freckled, 8 year old, red haired girls, and also little brats,
They would have ate my dogs,
But they craved my pollywogs,
When I visit them in Vancouver, maybe their gerbils will become hats.
Friday, August 30, 2024
COUNTRY KIDS DO THE DARNDEST THINGS
I went to the dead critter store, and bought me fresh ground beef,
I took it home to my young'uns for their famine relief,
But the kids did not care,
They were eating a bear,
They had scraped bear meat off the street, it was roadkill, good grief.
Sunday, August 25, 2024
HERMIT ADVENTURER
I'm A little baby hermit, and I'm an adventurous cuss,
I'm only six months old, but every morning I take a bus,
I head to a downtown shop
For sliced pizza and a pop
Then I commute back to home, before my family has a fuss.
Sunday, August 11, 2024
WILL SLEEP WHEN ONE IS DEAD
My little puppy stayed up all night with his best frog, friend Fred,
I told them to sleep; puppy said that he'd sleep when he was dead,
Next day, puppy was very tired,
I gave him sugar; he got wired,
Puppy ran around in circles, and fell sleepy, into bed.
Tuesday, June 25, 2024
THE ITSY BITSY SPIDERS, GOT WASHED AWAY
Oh, the massively big momma spider, cried,
Because all of her cute babies, drowned and died,
They all washed far away,
Got buried under clay,
Momma trusted the weatherman, but he lied.
Monday, April 1, 2024
I SAW A NO.HAIR BEAR
When I was little, I saw a bear,
He was full of stuffing and had no hair,
He slept with me in bed,
Up by my baby head,
So all the wild monsters, he would scare.
Thursday, March 21, 2024
AMY PAINTED THE FLOOR
Amy painted the wood floor,
To color it like the door,
She painted it blue,
Then it looked brand new,
Her mommy got really sore.
Wednesday, March 13, 2024
I LOVED AND I GOT GONGED
There are dirty diapers in the morning, and all day long,
Dirty diapers, dirty diapers, I did something wrong,
I use to be in my fish boat,
All day long, I'd relax and float,
Then I spied a beauty on the beach, and life gave me a gong.
31325
Friday, January 19, 2024
MOMMY IS A DINOSAUR
Little Derek, he was four,
Thought mommy was a dinosaur,
When asleep, she'd loudly snore,
Sounded like a mega roar,
That shook the hinges on Derek's door.
Tuesday, September 19, 2023
I'LL GO BACK TO SCHOOL WEARING SATIN
I went shopping, but, I got ever, so boardy, board,
Dollar store tea cozies, is all I can affordy, afford,
I saw a nice satin jacket,
But, my finances won't hack it,
Unless, I get a mommy loan, working out an accord.
Saturday, September 16, 2023
THE THREE SIBLINGS RETURN
The three siblings were allowed back into the school,
They had been suspended, for breaking every rule,
Restricted to gym classes,
Forbidden, toilet passes,
They said mean things to teacher, and he cried like a fool.
Tuesday, September 12, 2023
THE LITTLE RAT IN THE BARN
I found a small rat out in the cow barn, and made it my best pet,
I fed it lots of fruit and corn, and got it shots down at the vet,
My little rat, he grew and he grew,
He was off to college, before I knew,
My little rat became a surgeon, paid off the farm, now I'm set.
Saturday, August 26, 2023
NANA PSYCHOLOGY
My landline, nanna left off the hook,
My cellphone, my mean nanna had took,
I sat all alone,
With no friends on the phone,
And, decided to read my school book.
Sunday, August 13, 2023
THE THREE SIBLINGS: PUNISHMENT
The three siblings were bad, that is without any doubt,
Bader than head lice, food poisoning, rabies and gout,
They were not chicken,
They welcomed a lickin'
Then they'd threaten, stomp their feet, puff their lips out, and pout.
Monday, July 31, 2023
I LOVED MY BIRDIE
I loved my birdie, more than I loved my mommy named Flo,
Mommy left his cage door open, and out birdie did go,
He flew fast and away,
Where he went, I can't say,
I was so.mad at mommy, I told my daddy named Beau.
Monday, July 3, 2023
THE ALPHA MALE AND HIS TINY THINGS
I do not like bacteria, I do not like them one and all,
They make my belly really sick, and make my little sister ball,
Daddy brings them home from work,
He won't wash his hands, the drunken jerk,
He claims he's an alpha male, and bacteria is their card of call.
Sunday, April 30, 2023
BARKING OFF THE WRONG TREE
Poor Lucinda got real bad sick, and turned a white and chalky way,
She ate poison tree bark, and putrefied into the clay,
Lucinda had no money,
To leave to her son Sonny,
So Sonny moved into a box, beneath a bridge down by the bay.
Saturday, December 10, 2022
THE KIDS FINALLY LEFT HOME
I am afraid my trailer ain't rolling nowhere,
It got ripped right in half by a huge grizzly bear,
The bear ate the kids,
Methinks that's good-rids,
They were both in their forties, had no job and didn't care.
Tuesday, January 11, 2022
SHERMAN WAS A GOODY TWO SHOES, NOW HE IS A POP
Sherman was,a goody two shoes, every single day,
He never lied, never bad things he tried, he was goody all the way,
Then he went to band camp,
Where bad thoughts went up amp,
Now he has 30 children, and another pops today.
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