LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt
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Showing posts with label
children
.
Show all posts
Showing posts with label
children
.
Show all posts
Monday, April 1, 2024
I SAW A NO.HAIR BEAR
When I was little, I saw a bear,
He was full of stuffing and had no hair,
He slept with me in bed,
Up by my baby head,
So all the wild monsters, he would scare.
Thursday, March 21, 2024
AMY PAINTED THE FLOOR
Amy painted the wood floor,
To color it like the door,
She painted it blue,
Then it looked brand new,
Her mommy got really sore.
Wednesday, March 13, 2024
I LOVED AND I GOT GONGED
There are dirty diapers in the morning, and all day long,
Dirty diapers, dirty diapers, I did something wrong,
I use to be in my fish boat,
All day long, I'd relax and float,
Then I spied a beauty on the beach, and life gave me a gong.
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Friday, January 19, 2024
MOMMY IS A DINOSAUR
Little Derek, he was four,
Thought mommy was a dinosaur,
When asleep, she'd loudly snore,
Sounded like a mega roar,
That shook the hinges on Derek's door.
Tuesday, September 19, 2023
I'LL GO BACK TO SCHOOL WEARING SATIN
I went shopping, but, I got ever, so boardy, board,
Dollar store tea cozies, is all I can affordy, afford,
I saw a nice satin jacket,
But, my finances won't hack it,
Unless, I get a mommy loan, working out an accord.
Saturday, September 16, 2023
THE THREE SIBLINGS RETURN
The three siblings were allowed back into the school,
They had been suspended, for breaking every rule,
Restricted to gym classes,
Forbidden, toilet passes,
They said mean things to teacher, and he cried like a fool.
Tuesday, September 12, 2023
THE LITTLE RAT IN THE BARN
I found a small rat out in the cow barn, and made it my best pet,
I fed it lots of fruit and corn, and got it shots down at the vet,
My little rat, he grew and he grew,
He was off to college, before I knew,
My little rat became a surgeon, paid off the farm, now I'm set.
Saturday, August 26, 2023
NANA PSYCHOLOGY
My landline, nanna left off the hook,
My cellphone, my mean nanna had took,
I sat all alone,
With no friends on the phone,
And, decided to read my school book.
Sunday, August 13, 2023
THE THREE SIBLINGS: PUNISHMENT
The three siblings were bad, that is without any doubt,
Bader than head lice, food poisoning, rabies and gout,
They were not chicken,
They welcomed a lickin'
Then they'd threaten, stomp their feet, puff their lips out, and pout.
Monday, July 31, 2023
I LOVED MY BIRDIE
I loved my birdie, more than I loved my mommy named Flo,
Mommy left his cage door open, and out birdie did go,
He flew fast and away,
Where he went, I can't say,
I was so.mad at mommy, I told my daddy named Beau.
Monday, July 3, 2023
THE ALPHA MALE AND HIS TINY THINGS
I do not like bacteria, I do not like them one and all,
They make my belly really sick, and make my little sister ball,
Daddy brings them home from work,
He won't wash his hands, the drunken jerk,
He claims he's an alpha male, and bacteria is their card of call.
Sunday, April 30, 2023
BARKING OFF THE WRONG TREE
Poor Lucinda got real bad sick, and turned a white and chalky way,
She ate poison tree bark, and putrefied into the clay,
Lucinda had no money,
To leave to her son Sonny,
So Sonny moved into a box, beneath a bridge down by the bay.
Saturday, December 10, 2022
THE KIDS FINALLY LEFT HOME
I am afraid my trailer ain't rolling nowhere,
It got ripped right in half by a huge grisly bear,
The bear ate the kids,
Methinks that's good-rids,
They were both in their forties, had no job and didn't care.
Tuesday, January 11, 2022
SHERMAN WAS A GOODY TWO SHOES, NOW HE IS A POP
Sherman was,a goody two shoes, every single day,
He never lied, never bad things he tried, he was goody all the way,
Then he went to band camp,
Where bad thoughts went up amp,
Now he has 30 children, and another pops today.
Friday, December 11, 2020
Donny Did A Dirty Deed
Donny did a dirty deed,
When he lost his online feed,
He pardoned bandits that were his seed,
And, all his nasty friends he freed,
Donny was a dirty deeder,
He prized his thoughts and was no reader,
He acted like he was a weeder,
And, failed badly as fearless leader.
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