THE GOOD NEIGHBOR (NOT)

I bought four used tires for my Chevy pickup truck,

My neighbor had a nail gun, so I was out of luck,

The neighbor punctured each tire,

Set my whole pickup on fire,

I sued him in court, but did not get a single buck.

MY NEIGHBORHOOD

Some of my neighbors live in tree houses; not safe from the big bad cat,

Some neighbors live in tunnels, with family members packed in like the rat,

Some of my neighbors live in a lean-to, just loose boards leaned against a tree,

I live out in the open, easy prey, but at least I feel free,

Rich neighbors live in abandoned cars, but the bears smell where they're at.

2624

THE HORN TOOTER AND DING-DONG BELL

My little scooter had a horn tooter, and a ding-dong bell,

I'd ride my scooter behind someone, and my noise made them yell,

My parents got complaints,

No kids are ever saints,

Daddy took a  hammer, and for the scooter, it didn't end well.

2424

DRIED DILL DOWN THE HILL

It rained so very much, that mud went sliding on down the hill,

Along with my shack, and dozens of dried bundles of dill,

It was a disaster, complete

I had no place for my seat,

And the neighbor association, sent me a moving bill.

THE LIMERICK OF PORCH PIRATE BILLY

Porch pirate Billy, sneaked up to my backdoor,

He sneaked off with candy, laid on my porch floor,

A rare chocolate from Spain,

Quite hard to obtain,

Now I will have to try ordering more.

PORCH PIRATES COME CREEPING

My neighbors are porch pirates, who wait until I'm sleeping,

Then up to my door, they come a creeping,

And when I confront an offender,

They don't surrender,

They just tell me my package, they're keeping.

WHERE THE WILD THINGS LIVE (NEXT DOOR)

My neighbors went feral again,🐺🐅🐅🐶🐱🐘🐂🐗

They ate all my pigeons and kin,👩‍👩‍👧‍👧👩‍👦‍👦👩‍👧👨‍👦‍👦👩‍👩‍👧‍👧

They ate my sugar and molasses,🎂🍰

Wiped my carpet with their asses,💩💩💩💩

And gnawed holes in my meats cased by tin.🥫🥫