ODE TO MY SNOW COVERED SHACK ON THE HILL

My snow covered shack up on the hill,
Came crashing down upon my still,
It buried my corn, my sugar, my mash,
It even buried two cans of corned beef hash,
All I saved were some pickles; I think they're dill.

13017

DELETING MY CHILDHOOD APPS

I had so many downloads from the app downloading store,

I had to delete my old favs, before downloading more,

I deleted my app for Pong,

Space Invaders, Tetris and Kong,

After deleting my old games, my soul felt very poor.

THE CARNIVAL BEAR

I went to the carnival and the carnies were there,

They were all really nice, except their pet bear, 

The bear had little charm,

He bit off my right arm,

But, I look good with a prosthesis, so I don't really care.

MOZART'S TOOT AND SUPPER

I went to see the Magic Flute,

It's a nice, catchy Mozart toot,

When I left, I stoped to eat,

The food smelled like fungal feet,

Then, I barfed upon my suit.

MY FOUR WISHES

I decided to give myself four wishes,

The first was that I had sparkling, clean dishes,

Next, the toilet would clean flush,

Then, I'd have a new toothbrush,

Last, I wished my crumb cake would be delicious.

SID THE PRAYING MANTIS

There was a Praying Mantis named Sid,
He stayed most perfectly hid,
When a bug came along,
The bug had sung it's last song,
And, Sid could feed his mom, wife and kid.

41121

HUGH THE MERCEDES

There was a blue Mercedes named Hugh,
He was fast and reliable too,
He worked like a charm,
He kept his owner from harm,
The owner had an attitude that blew.

Hugh was a Mercedes car,
He was driven by a movie star,
When the star drove too fast,
Hugh knew his time had past,
Hugh’s parts were sold near and far.

31023

POLKA DOT POT

I make the bestest, yellow polka dot clay pots,

I think it's because my brain is full of blood clots,

The whole pot is grassy green,

So, the yellow is well seen,

When done, I cook them in a kiln, it has the hots.

SCOTT, IT'S WHAT'S INSIDE THAT COUNTS

Scott had ugly bugs coming out his nose,

He had even more nasties,  when he blows,

Scott was meany mean,

Even more, unclean,

Scott had odd things, growing between his toes.

BANANAS AND EGGS: ONE DOLLAR

I ate fried bananas and frog eggs, it cost me a pretty coin,

I had it forever; I stole it from a jukebox in Des Moines,

The coin was a silver dollar,

I hung it around my collar,

I spent my last dollar, to eat eggs from a froggys groin.

THE YOUNG AND RICH IN OLD GIRL CLOTHES

Before the birds are outside with their squeaking,

I'm on the road for some special antiquing,

I hit all the yard sales,

Buy old cloth by the bales,

To make old dresses, like the posh are seeking.

43024

PINK PEE TEA IN THE SEA

There once was a little pink ghost, who liked to drink cold iced tea,

Every time he drank it, it ran through him faster than pee,

I refused to serve him drink,

He got mad, turned red, from pink,

I told him I was sick of mopping floors; he sailed off to sea.

THE APPLESAUCE FROG BAIT

I opened a can of applesauce, and found a little frog,

The frog was cooked and mummified, sitting in a saucy bog,

I did not at all hesitate,

Picked out the frog to use for bait,

He caught me a fine sunfish, hiding beneath a hemlock log.

I MINDED MY BUSINESS, AND GOT FREE MEAT🙈🙉🙊🍖

I saw a wolverine, dragging by the feet, my neighbor down the street,

My neighbor screamed really loud, but the wolverine was going to eat,

I knew I should stay inside,

Went under the bed to hide,

Next day, the wolverine thanked me for silence, and bribed me with some meat.

42924

THE CORN EATING DRAGON

A dragon ate every ear of corn in each field,

That greatly reduced the gross domestic cornfield yield,

We sent him a kind letter,

Asked that he behave better,

It was to his better dragon angels, we appealed.

42924

A SWAMP LIZARD NAMED IKE

There was a swamp lizard named Ike,
He hated all those on a bike,
They’d run over his tail,
That made poor Ike Wail,
Now on Thursday he visits his psych.

12916

SOMETHING ABOUT HENRY

Henry has morning fruitcake and coffee, then he does a prance dance,

Hoping his neighbor next door, will be stimulated for romance,

The neighbor does not at all care,

Something about Henry, does not square,

Perhaps if Henry took dance lessons, a romance might have a chance.

The Three Siblings Went To Camp

The three siblings went off to big tented church camp,

The only adult they liked, was a loitering tramp,

The Tramp lived by the lake,

And, fresh fish he would take,

He slept on beach grass, because the beach sand was too damp.

MARNIE THE MOUSE AND HER PEAS

Marnie the mouse liked to shuck peas,
She cooked them up to eat with her cheese,
But, along came the farmer,
He wanted to harm her,
She got away running right through his knees.


Peas were Marnie's favorite treat,
Peas were fun to shuck and great to eat,
She stole from a farmer who had big feet,
He reached for her, and she ran under his seat.

11321

GUTS OF GOLD

I caught and gutted a big catfish, and found something there,

It was a nine dollar gold piece, and it was very rare,

I was on the noon news,

Frank's Bar gave me free booze,

I sold the coin at auction, and became a millionaire.