MY STREET APARTMENT IS GONE

The crickets are still chirping, but the air has turned coughing cold,

I'd take me an apartment, but those affordable are sold,

I set up a tent,

While at work, it went,

A garbage truck took it far away, that is what I was told.

82824

MY FRIEND THE IMPALER, IS KEPT BY A JAILER

I knew this guy, The Impaler, he collected dead bugs,

He got jollies impaling them, because he lacked mommy hugs,

One day he went to jail,

Because his  boyfriend, he tried to impale,

Now he does serious time, weaving baskets and entry rugs.

COLLEGE DEBT LIMERICK II

Jimmy thought education was king, 
He was sure great riches it'd bring,
But, after eight years of college,
And vast quantities of knowledge,
His pockets are empty of bling.

7314

Tooth Truth

For teeth, there was once was a tube of paste,

It was never touched, and went to waste,

Soon no one had teeth,

They just gumed on their beef, 

It seems not flushing and brushing was decided in haste.

72323

THE CORN MOON BANCHEE

The Corn Moon rises up into the September sky,

Forest monsters are dancing, and weird pumpkins, they fly,

The great pigs we baste and roast,

Feeding any passing ghost,

While just this side of the Moore's, there's a lone banshe cry.

91724

FROM DUST TO DILL

 Before the quaint, horse drawn wagon, climbed the old mill road hill,

It was loaded with dry, ancient saw dust, from the old mill,

For apartments, the mill property had been acquired,

All the employees, young and old,  were instantly fired,

The last asset, saw dust, was bought by a farm, growing dill.

FEEDING BIRDS HAIKU

Garden, Spading, Worms,
Birds, Squirmy, Meals, Yummy, Good,
Mowing Lawn, Bugs, Birds.

8122

TAP DANCE PEG

Beautiful Banjo Bob had a knobby, hardwood, beech, peg leg,   

It did not line up with his foot, so his walking was irreg,

When he was on the tap dance floor,

His fans would cheer and yell, "encore", 

Banjo Bob always did encores, when his audience would beg

A FIRE BREATHING DRAGON NAMED BOB

A fire breathing dragon named bob,
Would only eat corn on the cob,
What he liked most?
Was to give it a toast,
Then scarf the corn down like a slob.

10823

DATES: A NATURAL PERFORMANCE ENHANCING FOOD, FOR POGO STICKING

 Big Hank, he be nimble on the competitive pogo stick,

Hank's massive body will pogo down hard, then bounces up quick,

Hank fuels up with dried, dates,

Sticky dates on porcelain plates,

Hank will pogo all day long, while his sticky fingers, he'll lick.

WILLOW WOOD IN THE RASPBERRIES

 There was a willow growing in my raspberries, and it was getting real big,

I went and sharpened my best shovel, and for the roots, I began to deep dig,

The tangled roots, I chopped out,

Filled the hole, and drank a stout,

I cut the whole tree into firewood, and next summer it will roast my pig.

HAMELET THE DIPSY DIVER SWIMS FAST

Hamlet was a shy dipsy diver bug,
He'd dive if he caught a glimpse of your mug,
He'd swim ten foot away,
Before you could say,
"He must use a performance enhancing drug."

5117

GROCERY DIRECT

 My groceries were delivered, direct from the big store,

Some pops were broken open, and that made me really sore,

The pop soaked my cheddar cheese,

That brought me to my bare knees,

And, the pop soaked into my breads, now my breads are no more.

HALLOWEEN EGGS

 My teacher, the incredible, Mr. Bells,

Teaches hypnosis, conjuring and spells,

He turned me into a pheasant,

That was not very pleasant,

I laid chocolate eggs, filled with red jells.

TRY A TIRE MIX FOR YOUR NEXT DINNER PARTY

I was told my cousin had food from a beast,

So, I went to Grayling for the great feast,

It was a rodent from the road,

Tire mixed with a toad,

And, some snake which I liked the least.

61022

IN CAME THE WATER AND DOWN WENT THE FLOOR

I bought a trailer between a river and a lake,

The property flooded and I had water intake,

Finally, the water left out the door,

But, caved in went the floor,

Methinks my property buy a mistake.

7122

,

MY GUPPY HAD BABIES

My guppy had babies; it's so very nice to see,

She'll go back to her friends when she leaves maternity,

The babies move slow,

But, they'll be safe and can grow,

For mamas are hungry and can get quite naughty.  

122821

SOMEONE ATE MY CHICKENS LIMERICK

Someone ate all of my chickens last night,
The only trace found were feathers, all white,
It must be the bear,
He left his tracks there,
And, he gave my truck tires a bite.  

71823

APPLES IS FOR PIGS, PIGS IS FOR DINOSAURS

My dinosaur was accused of eating the neighbor's apple pie,

But, my dinosaur is a carnivore, and eating fruit ain't fly,

Now my dino sits in jail,

I got no money for his bail,

I hope they feed him lots of pigs, without pig meat he will cry.

8823

FARE THEE WELL MY PUMPKIN PATCH

Fare thee well my Pumpkin Patch,

May you  grow pumpkins that I might hatch,

So that I might take the seeds,

For on such yields my family feeds,

And, some seeds to sow next season's batch. 

102222

12 SKUNKIES

 Twelve skunks moved to Midland Michigan, from a town called Montreal,

They all moved to Michigan, because hula hooping was their call,

In Michigan, we hula hoop,

Some folks skipping, both food and poop,

These twelve skunks, will fit in, so we'll let them hula hoop, through our mall.