IT'S WHAT'S IN THE SYRUP THAT COUNTS WITH PANCAKES

I eat lots of pancakes which keeps me well fed,

I ran out of maple syrup so I used cough syrup instead,

The flavor made it a different dine,

It was like pancakes and wine,

I passed out and I awoke, wet to bed. 

VELCRO QUICK

I bought some shoes with Velcro stick,

It makes securing footwear so very quick,

Those long complicated shoelaces,

Would put me through my paces,

And, getting a bow to stay tied was some trick.

WHAT FELL IN THE TREES STAYS IN THE TREES

Nobody knows what fell in the trees,

But, they say that my uncle crawled out on his knees,

Was there an alien race?

From deep outer space?

Or, did my uncle urinate on some bees?

READ CAUTIOUSLY OR DEVINE EXPLANATION

Hiding in the woods dark green,

Down below the forest spleen,

Central music from the pond of frogs,

Instinctively, the choir sings from island logs,

Of their alien world of in between.

THE MICHIGAN PRIMARY: MY WORST FEAR CAME TRUE

I went to the Michigan primary and found my worst fear,

I was in line behind Santa, his sleigh, elves and, deer,

The elves and deer had big fight,

Over which candidate was right,

And, Santa's pipe made my eyes ache and tear.

MY PRETZEL PAST

In my pretzel past, I was an overeater,
I ate pretzel snacks with a pop, 1.5 liter,
With all the pretzels I ate,
I gained plenty of weight,
So, on planes I occupied a two-seater.