BEFORE I GO TO SCHOOL

Before I go to school I eat a pot pie,

Before I go to school I eat bagels of rye,

Before I go to school I eat an orange, make it die,

Before I go to school I eat anything that mom will fry,

Before I go to school I sup soup made of bean,

Before I go to school I brush my teeth clean,

Before I go to school I swab my ears, so obscene,

Before I go to school to my kin I talk mean,

Before I go to school my shoes I will tie,

Before I go to school I promise dad that I'll try,

Before I go to school I tease my brothers, they cry,

Before I go to school I tell everyone bye.

 

MY PARASITES RULE DAYS AND NIGHTS

I am full of parasites,

Micro ones and big ones with bites,

They burrow in,

Organs and skin,

Making irritating days, restless nights.

NOAH'S LITTLE DINNER PARTY WITH A FRIEND

Noah had a chicken,🍗

Noah had a fish,🍤

Noah had some taters,🍟

Noah made a salad dish,💐

Noah had a nice dinner,🍸🍽🍷🍹

Noah had a cute friend,👬

They both enjoyed the dinner,👨‍❤️‍👨

And got spunky at the end.🤔

PETER WEETER THE TWEETER

Peter Weeter was a Tweeter,
Tweeting he did very well,
Peter Weeter was no eater,
His bones bulged out, so you could tell,

Peter Weeter would not stop tweeting,
He’d rather starve to skin and bone,
Then Peter Weeter’s heart stopped beating,
But, no tweets in heaven, only a phone.

MR. WILLIAMS HAD A NOSE HAIR LIMERICK

Mr. Williams had a nasal hair,
It was a foot long so many people would stare,
He went to Nantucket,
To find a barber to cut it,
But, now his nose hair has become a nose pair.

I WISH I WAS A SLINKY

I wish I was a slinky, walking down the stairs,

If I were a slinky, I couldn't be ate by bears,

If I had a slinky life,

I'd grow old with my slinky wife,

And we'd leave the stairway to all our slinky heirs. 

BUY YOUR OWN SHOES

I was walking down the sidewalk and knocked over some paint,

This guy walks through it and happy he aint,

The guy shouts, "hey you!

You need to pay for two shoe,"

I shouts, "buy your own.  I'm no goody-two shoes saint."  

THE HOUSE WARMING

My woodstove was in a really bad spot,
It was in the library with books and that lot,
Well my yard looks really neat,
The house burnt up quite complete,
All that’s left is the wood stove and pot.

HUNTING LEACHES FROM A PERCH

The leach knew he was in a lurch,

When the raven flew down from his perch,

But, a breeze full of smog,

Filled the bird's view with fog,

Then, the raven failed in his search.

THREE GEESE WENT TO A PARTY

Three geese went to a party,
They had too much to drink,
They picked a fight with three bad skunks,
And, really made a stink,

Three geese were taken to the jail,
For starting a big fight,
Because they were geese they had no bail,
This gave the judge delight,

The judge offered the geese jail for a year,
Or they could be hung off the big willow,
Or the gesse could leave court without a fear,
For the fine of one feather pillow,

The three geese sit in their little pond,
Naked and shivering cold,
Leaving the pond to drink and party,
Was just a little too bold,

Maybe, it's best to find adventure at home,
And, play video games and fish,
Maybe, they should not leave and roam,
Just trade cable for a new dish.

DERRICK AND HIS PET HAMSTER LIMERICK

Derrick kept a hamster for a pet,
The hamster was unstable and acted real upset,
It bit Derrick on the thumb,
His thumb swelled like a plumb,
Derrick decided a different pet he should get.