LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt
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Showing posts with label
pests
.
Show all posts
Showing posts with label
pests
.
Show all posts
Saturday, December 21, 2024
FEAST AROUND AND FIND OUT: THE IVY FUR BOOT STORY
I had beautiful ivy plants, growing by my old barn,
I found my Ivy plants dead, one day, and I said, "oh, darn",
Two groundhogs ate the tender roots,
Hogs feel good, in my fur lined boots,
Now I won't need to knit new socks, so I'll return the yarn.
Thursday, November 14, 2024
INFESTATION: SHARP TEETH IN BED
The bedbugs teeth are sharp, and real long,
And, Denny rolled upon the bugs, wrong,
The mad teeth bit in,
Broke wide, Denny's skin,
The Denny Dirge is our local song.
Friday, November 8, 2024
ICONIC WHISKERS
I had summer sausage for my dinny, din, din,
Much greased dripped down onto my fat chinny, chin chin,
Mixing with pieces of cheese,
It drew mice, rats and sand fleas,
I cleansed myself in a poisoned binny, bin, bin.
Monday, October 21, 2024
THE GUESTS AT MY BED AND DINNER
It got so cold, I asked the rats to snuggle in,
In my creaky bed with the bedbugs, and my gin,
We were all warm and cozy,
While the outside got snowzy,
Next day, I ate the rats for my six o'clock din.
Sunday, October 13, 2024
DAY OF THE FARM
After the farm hay, I put away,🚜🌄
An October rainbow made my day,🌈
I picked my pumpkin patch,🎃
It was a record batch,💲
Some bugs ate my beans, I'll make them pay.🐛🐜😡
Friday, October 4, 2024
THE POTATO SUPER EIGHT
There were once eight garden heroes, called The Potato Super Eight,
They protected the vegetable garden, and they were first rate,
They chased off the worms and bugs,
The raccoons, gophers and slugs,
They were eight handsome, perfect spuds, all the green beans wanted to date.
Thursday, September 26, 2024
NEIGHBORS CAME TO DINNER
My pot of stew fell off the counter, and spread all sloppy across the floor,
Then an invading army of cockroaches, came in under the front door,
Sweep, Sweep, zoom, zoom,
I used the broom,
I could not stop the cockroaches, because they kept on coming, more, more, more.
Tuesday, September 3, 2024
I'M A SCHOLAR WITH A DOLLAR AND BUGS
I felt rich when I found in my wallet, a dollar,
I felt smart when I read me a book, a scholar,
I still felt so defeated,
When everyone tweeted,
That like a dog, I needed an tick and flea collar.
Thursday, August 15, 2024
INFESTATION WITH DIGNITY
I sued for peace the mean, itchy, hungry head lice,
My last offer gave to them, a real good entice,
So that I can get some sleep,
And my crap job I can keep,
They'll eat my scalp all day, at night they must be nice.
Tuesday, August 6, 2024
CONTAMINATED GROCERIES, NOW MY CLOTHES MIGHT FIT
Bugs have laid eggs in my food, because my windows have no screens,
That is why I have those maggots, swimming in my pork and beans,
There is a fuzzy worm,
He's chewing my wheat germ,
Maybe I should just diet, at least I'll fit my skinny jeans.
Wednesday, July 24, 2024
LIVING IN MICHIGAN IS A BUGGER
I live in Michigan, we have zillions of bugs
They eat into your eyeballs, you share them, with hugs,
Bugs poop on your pans and dishes,
They attack your cute goldfishes,
You'!l even drink a few, in your rootbeer chug-a-lugs.
Monday, July 22, 2024
WHY I HIT MYSELF SO HARD, MY BRAIN AIN'T RIGHT.
In the latest, late of dark night,
From an earwig, I got a bite,
The evil dear,
Was in my ear,
I slapped my ear, with all my might.
Thursday, July 18, 2024
BETTER TO HAVE BUG TURDS THAN SLIME
I found a grotesque, giant, slimy slug,
Crawling across my nice clean, new, white rug,
I think it a bad crime,
For a slug to spread slime,
Far nastier than a turd spreading bug.
Monday, July 8, 2024
PET REINCARNATION: A BEAUTIFUL THING
My poor little pet mosquito, named Ron,
He got squished flat, and became living, non,
His new mosquito ghost,
Found another live host,
In the body of a cockroach, named Don.
Saturday, July 6, 2024
THEY USED THEIR TONGUE TO LICK MY CHERRIES
On this very nice day, I went out cherry picking,
I found all the cherries, bugs were buggy tongue licking,
That made me feel sick,
I went home really quick,
The image of bugs licking the fruit, is still sticking.
Saturday, June 22, 2024
THE PROBLEM WITH MY ROOMMATE
I once had a problem, his name was Sid,
Sid was a bedbug, I could not get rid,
Sid would hold me real tight,
And would bite me all night,
Then early next morning, Sidney got hid.
Tuesday, May 28, 2024
THE CHURCH MOUSE ATTACK
The mouse fell from the church ceiling onto my back,
It squeaked really loud, and gave a big heart attack,
I got whisked straight away,
For a hospital stay,
Although, funds and health insurance, I sadly lack.
Monday, April 29, 2024
THE CORN EATING DRAGON
A dragon ate every ear of corn in each field,
That greatly reduced the gross domestic cornfield yield,
We sent him a kind letter,
Asked that he behave better,
It was to his better dragon angels, we appealed.
42924
Sunday, April 21, 2024
TERMITES AND ME
Something bad happened to my wood deck,
This spring it all fell all to heck,
On the problem I set sights,
And, found ten billion termites,
Next, my wood house crashed down in a wreck.
8122
Saturday, March 30, 2024
THE WILL OF THE MOUSE
The mouse was stuck on the old glue trap,
He squeaked and squeaked and said, "Drat, Drat,"
But, his will kept him yanking,
And, his little feet cranking,
He freed himself, but was ate by the cat.
111321
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