THE SNACK DOG

My puppy would only eat snacks,

Like cheese on tasty bacon cracks,

And, ice cream in a cup

Was his favorite sup,

He loved popcorn in big buttery sacks.

MY PUPPY HAD A BIG BOWL MOVEMENT

My pup moved his bowl from the mudroom to the fridge,

Then, he sat there next to it looking over the bowl ridge,

He ached in his soul,

For fridge food in his bowl,

He wouldn't have prevailed except for my kid sister Midge.

A ZOMBIE CAME AND ATE MY LUNCH

A zombie came and ate my lunch,
It was two root beers and Captain Crunch,
I asked why he didn’t eat me,
He said I was too smelly,
So, I gave that old zombie a punch.

TAINTING THEN PAINTING: OYSTERS FOR SUPPER

I served some oysters that were tainted,

Result, my toilets my kinfolk painted,

Then, as my home filled with vapors,

I had to go buy toilet papers,

At last, with sights and smells, I done well fainted.

MY DRIP COFFEE MAKER DRIPS NO MORE

My drip coffee maker drips no more,

It's a holiday so, I can't get to a store,

And, without my coffee buzzy,

The world is looking fuzzy,

I guess I'll just pass out and fall on the floor. 

MY BLUEBERRIES ON HOLD

My dried blueberries were all full of mold,

I kept them in the crawlspace which is a bad place I'm told

So, I ordered more,

To be brought to my door,

But, the season is over so, my order is on hold.

I CUT A BUG IN TWO LIMERICK

With a knife I cut a bug in two,
Then from each half a new half grew,
Each bug gave me a bite,
The pain inspired an insight,
"Squashing the bug was the right thing to do".