DOES DRAGON RHYME WITH PAGAN?

The giant green dragon,

Bent my best red wagon,

My wagon is sagging,

Dragon tail is rear dragging,

I'm a cursed little pagan.

MONSTERS HAVE MAMAS TOO (HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!)

Zombies celebrate Mother's Day in the afternoon,

Werewolves only celebrate, if there be a full moon,

Vampires celebrate after dark,

Then mama's kiss leaves a neck mark,

They all play creepy music, like some Bachy organ tune.

A THIEF STOLE A BENNY, FROM A PEASANT WHO WAS POOR

I use to know a little peasant, he was really, really poor,

I'd toss him a penny, if he promised not to ask for more,

Well, he saved every penny,

Till he got a bill, a Benny,

Then someone stole the Benny to buy liquor at the store.

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO SATURDAY?

Some weekends I lose my Saturday, like it's zero seconds long,

Sometimes I go out Friday night, and things just go real wrong,

It starts off with the dancing,

Jerky movements, and some prancing,

Then I wakeup Sunday morning, as the church bell go ding dong.

MACARONI BOWS, AND A LION SOMETIMES CALLED BRIAN

Timmy eats only macaroni, if it's shaped in little bows,

Timmy only goes outside, when the winter wind, it blows,

Timmy has a pet mountain lion,

Calls it Frank, or sometimes Brian,

Timmy has fed the cat every neighbor that Timmy knows.

GARDENER LOU AND THE BIG CHOO CHOO

There was this very crazy guy, everyone called him Lou,

Planted a veggie garden and not a single veggie grew,

He bought a little Jeep,

It went honk, beep, beep,

The Jeep got hit by a big train, and Lou then tried to sue.

TO ALL THE MOMS ON MOM'S DAY

I wish all moms on mom's day,
Happy thoughts all the way,
And, after each evening storm,
To wake up warm,
Like sunshine on the bay.

I LOST MONEY BETTING ON HORSES, NOW I SERVE THEM AT MY PLACE OF EATS

I cook delicious food while listening to music in c minor,

That's why I call my restaurant "The C Minor Diner",

I use to listen to D Major,

Bet on horseys, lost big wager,

I changed my music and my job, because my mate was a major whiner.

MABEL NEEDED MINTS

Mabel had no Listerine,

She lost her boyfriends, Fred and Dean,

She had the breath of a bear,

With poor hygiene care,

A smell so strong, some say it was seen.

WHEN BETTY GOOSE GOT ON THE LOOSE

I had a cow named Betty Goose,

She became with calf every time she got loose,

Of course the babies I'd steal,

To make myself veal,

Marinated in cranberry juice.

DON'T INVEST WITH PERKY PAUL

Perky Paul had pretty, blue eyes,

All believed him, when he told lies,

Perky Paul, 

Had a margin call,

His investors went broke, because they weren't wise.

A BIG SQUIRRELY DECISION

I decided I was going out in the woods to hunt squirrel,

I took along with me my favorite hunting hound, Pearl,

But the squirrel was big and mean,

Ten foot tall, maybe 15,

We runs back to my old shack,  so we could hide and curl.

TIME TRAVEL DREAMER

My spaceship travels faster than light,

That means time travel, and it's a delight,

Maybe some ancient Greece,

Might give me some peace,

And new pyramids might be a delight.

MABEL HAD NO MAKEUP

Mabel had no Maybelline,

Even though, she had washed up clean,

With her friend Loren,

They went out to buy corn,

Couldn't buy steaks; their funds were lean.

ROTTEN TEETH AND DOTS: A LIFE ADVENTURE, BY BOB

Bob didn't brush his teeth, and they all got really rotty,

Then a dentist Bob saw, and the dentist got snotty,

Bob then went out to the woods,

Picked what berries he coulds,

He ate all the berries, and his skin got all dotty. 

MY SPOILED LITTLE TOAD

My pet, Toad went out to eat some early, springtime bugs,

But he got really cold, and asked for my hot hugs,

Unlike the mammalian form,

Toad's blood is cold, not warm,

So I made us both hot coco, served in thermal mugs.

LAMENT FOR THE BABY PLANT

My tomato plant did not get very tall,

It was fine, until we had the snow squall

It would of had a life of green,

If the warm sun it had seen,

Poor thing, almost had no life at all.

UNDER THE BOOM, BOOM; PEANUT PIE FOR BREAKFAST

Lightning booming,  booming in the dark cloudy, morning sky,

It hits so close, me thinks I will be going bye, bye, bye,

What a way to die,

Like a burnt French fry,

Hope I don't burn to death, before I eat my peanut pie.