THE SPACE LASAR GOT ME GOOD

There is this glowing space laser, some call it the sun,

It aims straight down on me, like some Martian ray gun,

It's not at all funny,

Getting zapped by the sunny

I feel cooked like a turkey, dry and crispy done.

6323

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MY FLOWER GARDEN SONG

My arbutus looks so very pretty,

Sitting in my garden in mid-city,

Then there is my daisy,

All flopped over crazy,

Then there is rose, my prickly old bitty.   

PSYCHO HEAT MIND

FANCY DRESS AND FIX YOUR HAIR, BUT DO NOT EAT THE PIGS

I am very afraid, and hiding out, down deep in my digs,

It's the end of summer, and people are all roasting us pigs,

We kindly pigs are forsaken,

So, I'm protecting my bacon,

Soon, busy people will fancy dress,  and saloon their nice wigs.

GOING TO THE FAIR

I went to ride rides at the fair,

I road the big ferris wheel, that was there,

When I heard rattles and clickin'

I started feeling real chicken,

More so, as I plunged through the air.

MY SWEATY CORNET

It seemed like for my old cornet, all the notes did melt,

For steaming hot was parade day, and that my cornet felt,

My lips got drip, dry parched, 

The notes got damaged as we marched,

When the parade was finally done, I had a root beer belt.

HEATWAVE 2023

It got so very hot, even my little pansies died,

The last live flowers in my garden, and I cried, and cried, 

Now only plastic flowers, I grow,

My lawn is astro turf; pretend to mow,

The only real plants I'll see again are ones that someone dried.

4TH OF JULY AT THE LAKE

At the lake, Roger was roasting a pig to eat,

So I went to the lake for sweet piggy meat,

There played a two trumpet band,

As rockets launched from land,

A lake 4th Of July can't be beat.

A POX ON CRISTMAS IN JULY

I got a toy train for Christmas, but I just got it out of the box,

It's almost the 4th of July, and I'm stuck home with the chicken pox,

My train goes "choo, choo, choo",

With an engine hauling cars #1 and #2,

It's run over two small plastic humans, and almost hit the rubber fox.

THE TEMPERATURE IS TOO DARN HIGH

It was so hot the earth felt like a grill,

I was cooking and needed a chill,

My AC would not work,

Because of a utility clerk,

I was cut off because I couldn't pay my bill.

SOLAR BEAMS

I got burnt by some hot solar beams,

Now I'm covered with ointments and creams,

It has gotten so hot,

My brains cooked quite a lot,

Now out my nostrils and eye sockets, it steams

IT GOT SO HOT...

It became so very hot, my little house overheated,,

My air conditioner blew up, it was completely defeated,

I retreated to the tub,

In the water, I played sub,

Then the house exploded with fire, soon my walls were deleted.

SMELL OF THE BURN CREAMS

I went out in the sun and got photon abused,

I got peeling, burnt skin, and the sun I've accused,

Then after puppy was fed,

I went real early to bed,

The smell of the burn creams, made my brain so confused.

TEN TIMES PLUS THRICE

I'm afraid I feel not nice,

Because my hair has a load of lice,

I bought lice poo; paid big price,

Poo not work; shaved head; ate rice,

I've now had lice ten times plus thrice.

A POEM FOR ALL SEASONS

When I blow snow,

Away it will go,

I might be paid doe,

To buy a me a hoe,

For the garden, you know,

To keep the weeds low,

To make pickles grow,

So my plants don't feel woe,

Next, tie my shoes with a bow,

And the lawn I must mow,

Then I'll jump in my dingy and row, row, row, row.

THE BUGS THAT ATE SAMMY FOR S'MORES

Sammy went to the beach and got covered with soars,

The bugs liked him so much because he tasted like s'mores,

From New Years Eve till that date,

S'mores was all Sammy ate,

And, the taste sweat out through all his pores.

I DO MISS THE SUMMER

Today we got a hard freeze,
The cold made my nose run and sneeze,
I do miss the summer,
Cold air is a bummer,
Along with the chill in the breeze.

WE SHOULD HAVE GONE TO CRYSTAL LAKE ON FRIDAY THE 13TH

On Friday the 13th we went skinny dipping at Lake Meade,

"Our folks should never know", is what we all agreed,

But, along  comes this dude, Jason,

With a hockey mask face on,

With a sharp machete that made our necks all start to bleed.

THEY SUCK BLOOD BETWEEN OUR TOES

I thought I'd give my friend some teaches,

As we walked along the beaches,

We found fossil stones,

Some carp fish bones,

Alas, between our toes sucked, leaches.

THE CORN ROAST LIMERICK

Moose Gillies would brag and would boast,
About his annual summer corn roast,
But, this year he got bent,
When in the fire the corn went,
And, was burnt blacker than his wife's turkey breast roast.