I went swimming in a swampy lagoon, My only light was the light of the moon, While swimming on my back, I was a swamp monster's snack, In his belly it was colored maroon.
Alien worms have burrowed into Jim's brain,
They control him with both pleasure and pain,
And, sometimes out of Jim's snout,
Some worms will pop out,
To scout for a new mind to train.
Butcher the beagle liked to eat flies, High in protein; those crunchy meat pies, Once he chomped down on a bee, Which made Butcher see, When eating he should open his eyes.
Randy ate a pair of pickles before bed, on a dare, But, then he tossed all night with a nasty nightmare, From his belly Randy dreamt, There was an exit attempt, Out his bellybutton slipped the pickles with a pear.
My snow covered shack up on the hill,
Came crashing down upon my still,
It buried my corn, my sugar, my mash,
It even buried two cans of corned beef hash,
All I saved were some pickles; I think they're dill.
I tried securing a date with the tastiest scones, I recited poetry in soft monotones, But, my lady chose another, In fact, he was my brother, Because of his strong pheromones.
My pet gator is covered with dots, Yet, I gave him all of his shots, But, he likes to eat weasels, And, from them he caught measles, Now, his poor belly is tied up in knots.
While I rafted down a creek, My rubber raft ripped a big leak, Then dry-shore I tried to seek, But cold water made me swim too meek, Soon my washed-up bones will be antique.
Ted turned a pretty profit in bones, He picked them up in a pit full of stones, Skulls and teeth he'd unbury, Some looked handsome, some scary, But none as scary as his student loans.
Tony's fish sandwich was all full of bones, They got stuck in his throat and gave Tony moans, Tony's next sandwich was jelly, Which put aches in his belly, Now, Tony just licks ice cream cones.
My relatives eat just pasta and beans, Hence, in my family there aren't any leans, So when one sits on a chair, The weight it won't bear, I'd buy more chairs but, I've run out of means.