The Bear Got Mad

I came upon a big bear face to face,

I got scared and sprayed him with some bear mace,

Then, the bear got mad,

And, I got sad,

Cause, he scattered my innards all over the place.

DENTIST BE KIND

I went to the dentist but, he wouldn't let me in,

He said I was too poor and that was a sin,

I said I had a toothache,

He replied "that's a tough break,"

Then, he recommended using pliers and gin.

Spider Bites

There were spiders climbing up the stair,

Spider bites, spider bites,

Spiders under the silverware,

Spider bites, spider bites,

Spiders in my curly hair,

Spider bites, spider bites,

Spiders in the underwear,

Spider bites, spider bites,

Spiders roam across my lair,

Spider bites, spider bites,

Spiders come out when I off the lights,

Spider bites, spider bites

I'd use some spray but, they have rights,

Spider bites, spider bites,

So, I made them friends and now were tights,

Except for Harold, he still bites.

I CURE THE BLUES

When I'm having a bad day and feeling unhap,

I do the same as what did my old pap,

I binge eat till I'm sick,

Till I'll burst with one prick,

Then, for days I'll do nothing but nap.

TEA AND COOKIES AND BEAR🏡

I was sleeping in my recliner chair,💺

When I got visited by the bear,🐻

He brewed some tea, ☕

Enough for me,🤓

I offered cookies but, for them he didn't care.🍪🍪🍪

DONNY THE CROOK CURLED UP WITH A BOOK

Donny curled up with a book,

He couldn't read but at the pictures he'd look,

Now, old Donny is retired,

Most say he was fired,

Donny the illiterate is also a crook,

When Donny had his big job at the top,

He filled his pockets with loot non-stop,

And, if a meeting you sought,

With a bribe, time you bought,

But, at the end his crime bubble went pop.

COMBAT FINGER RISING

While taunts and giggles come from their foes,

Some have terrors of the nose,

As boogers fall out and stain their cloths,

The finger rises in combat pose,

To dig out those that cause such woes.

FIRST SPRING SUNDAY IN CORNING

Although early red skies forecast a warning,

The sun shined brightly this Sunday morning,

And, the robins that paired,

Built nests so, they cared,

On this first spring Sunday in Corning.