TODAY I GOT IN THE MAIL

Today I got in the mail,
A bill that was just a big whale,
My teeth started to chatter,
My family done scatter,
I upchucked in the garbage pail.

MARCIE MOE THE REINDEER POEM TWO

When Marcie Moe the reindeer,
Went swimming at the beach,
The other swimmers filled with fear,
A little kid let out a screech,

For Marcie Moe the reindeer,
Looked like a lake monster of yore,
And, all the swimmers ran for high ground,
As Marcie came ashore,

Now, Marcie Moe the reindeer,
Stood dumbfounded, alone on the sand,
Then, a helicopter came and chased Marcie away,
And, from the beach Marcie was banned.


　

THE MAN-EATING ZOMBIE FLAVOR FAVOR

I met a man-eating zombie named Rose,
He had red eyes and a gigantic nose,
He asked me a favor,
To tell him my flavor,
I replied "I taste like jam that grows between toes."

MARCIE MOE THE REINDEER POEM

Marcie Moe the reindeer,
Wanted to pull Santa's sleigh,
So, she hooked herself up in the sleigh gear,
Thinking she'd soon be on her way,

But, Santa told her she couldn't go,
And Marcie asked him why,
Santa said there ain't no show,
Since it's the middle of July.

 

LAME, THE HOLIDAY LIMERICK

Cars are sliding down the road,

Finding trees and getting towed,

And all the new snow,

We give a blow,

It's holidays and credit is owed. 

I GOT HONKED BY MY CHRISTMAS GOOSE

Fast and loose, the Christmas goose chased me across the yard,

Fast and loose, I was chased by that goose, while I wore just a thin leotard,

The goose caught me at last,

I got goose-honked for my past,

When I cheated the goose with a fixed playing card.

HOLIDAY SACRIFICE FOR NAUGHT

We have another holiday,

On presents I will spend my pay,

I'll catch a meal another day,

I sacrifice to hear someone say,

"I need the receipt, to return straight away."

THE TIME TRAVEL PEASANT

My time machine will machine no more,

So, I can't the future or the past explore,

I am stuck in the present,

Like a time travel peasant,

Such a mundane existence, I deplore.

ARM ACHE=CAKE

I got a shot; it was a booster,

Tasted like chicken; maybe a rooster,

So, I got an arm ache,

Ate a big slice of cake,

It was so good I had a cake twoster.

A BIGFOOT HOLIDAY

I invited for dinner my friend Marvin Hoots,

He brought his family, all of them were bigfoots,

While belching passionately,

They ate my holiday tree,

Then with their trumpets they played me some toots.

HAIRS, PEARS, WOLVES AND BEARS

I went out to pick some juicy pears,

And, had to fight off sixteen bears,

Then, a wolf pack gave me meany stares,

I said, "come get me, I double dares,"

They ate my bod from toes to hairs.