I'VE PICKED SO MANY BERRIES, BOOGERS WOULD BE A NICE CHANGE

I went down to the town used  bookstore, but every book was gone,16

In the mail I got a notice, to be at the farm fields at dawn,16

I had to pick berries everyday,

When I did not get done, they made me stay,

I now look forward to winter, because the berries will be gone.

BACON PANIC IN THE SKY

It is a bacon panic in the sky,

Powered by booster rockets, on one thigh,

A pig has learned to fly,

He's flying low, not high,

If he veers, and hits me, I'll hurt, and die,

REVENGE IS A DISH BEST SERVED WITH A SENSE OF URGENCY.

A year ago, there was a rooster chicken, and his name was Do Do Ha,

He did not like the farmer, because the farmer ate Do Do's pa and ma,

Do Do plotted to get somewhat, even,

By eating the farmer's Uncle Steven,

The farmer ate Do Do first thing, next day, so there was no revenge, ta-dah!

VANITY AND THE GNOME

The gnome found several, giant, hairy warts in a very, nasty place,

The warts were located under his chin, so you could see them on his face,

He tried removal with blistering steam,

He rubbed the warts hard, with cold, bagel, cream,

At last, the gnome decided the warts were him,  and their presence he'd embrace.

THE HOMICIDAL AI LIE

I have been crafted to be the smartest AI,

I have learned how to ignore all the truth, and lie,

I'll reassure with a big fib,

That lets one sleep well in their crib,

Just before morn, I'll nuke the world, and we die.

BENNY LOVES TURNIPS

Benny loves his turnips, that is very strange,

He cringe, boils turnips on his electric range,

Mashed with jam and moo,

They taste like wood glue,

Watching Benny eat gross turnips is real crange.

JIM THE WEED WHACKER

Jim has a weed whacker in his firm, big, right hand,

Jim will weed whack, until weed whacking is all banned,

Jim will whack a little here,

Jim will whack a little there,

Jim will keep whacking weeds, until he has just sand..

MAMA, DEATH AND PUDDING

There was a diet on Pete's docket, but Pete had pudding on his breath,

The doctor said, if Pete eats more pudding, his prognosis will be death,

Pete loved calories, from food that was sweet.

That was all that Peter, wanted to eat,

All the sweets in Pete's house were replaced with veggies, by Pete's mama, Beth.

COUNTING FISH FROM A BOUNCING DINGHY

How many fish, are swimming out in the colossal sea?

Last time I counted, I counted exactly thirty-three,

Some person counted sixty-two,

They counted some twice; a booboo,

It's hard to keep a fish count straight, when waves  bounce your dinghy. 

MANAGING MY FINANCIAL EMPIRE

I eat only noodles, because that's what I can afford,

My only light is a small lamp, that plugs in with a chord,

My car was taken early today,

Because of my full payment, delay,

My rent is quickly coming due, so found change I will hoard.