ON MOTHER'S YACHT I ROT

I went down, down, to the very bottom, beneath the deep, dark blue sea,

It was actually dear Lake Michigan, that stretched out over me,

The world was full of many types of fish,

And, snails, and clams and worms that fingers can squish,

Now, I'll float in the cabin on mother's yacht, for all eternity.

LEIGH AND LEO GET BEED

Leigh and Leo were sitting high up in an oak tree,

Watching squirrels steal honey from the cute, honey bee, 

The bees started to gang sting,

The squirrels were retreating,

The bees turned to Leigh and Leo; they both fell to flee.

TRINA AND MOMMY BACK TOGETHER AGAIN: WAR

Sister Trina moved herself back in with our mommy,

Trina lost her job dancing, when she twisted her knee,

Trina can stay through week four,

Then, Trina is out the door,

Like a country song,

They don't get along,

They both fight like two tom cats, sometimes violently,

Both my mommy and big Sister just want to be free.

LEIGH AND LEO LIVED ON THE MOON

Leigh and Leo left earth to live on the nearest earth moon,

They opened a small casino, they called The Lunar Dune,

Entities came from everywhere,

Guests bet and lost, but they did not care,

They came for the games, the food, and club dance with a tune.

MY GIRLFRIEND WENT TO THE EVERGLADES, AND BROUGHT ME SOMETHING BACK

My girlfriend Holly, went on a trip to the Everglades, swamp seas,

Before Holly left we kissed, and hugged, and shared 13 species of flees,

When my sweet Holly returned  back,

I made her dinner in my shack,

She shared some long worms with me, that ate my internal organs with ease.

AI HAS GENDERS

I have an AI girlfriend, she calls herself Annabelle Isabella,

Annie got angry and excited, when someone misgendered her, a fella,

Annie got even in a flash,

She drained his bank accounts of cash,

She cancelled his credit cards, and called his wife about his girlfriend, Stella.

AT THE OFFICE

Monday while the office coffee perks,

You realise there's five full days to work with jerks,

And, it's no surprise,

They'll spread evil lies,

About your poor choices and quirks.

LEIGH AND LEO, THE SPIDER PUDDING BOYS

Leigh and Leo walked into the deep, dark, Michigan backwoods,

The place where giant spiders thrive, in their weby, hunting hoods,

Leo was the first to touch the webs, got

 glued,

Leigh tried helping Leo and got stuck, dumb boob,

Along came the spider to eat the boys like prime, desert puds.

LEIGH AND LEO HAD A BIG CRY

Leigh and Leo had a bigly, bigly, bigly cry,

The vet put down their sick hound dog; he had to die,

But, by the next day

The boys were o.k.,

They had a new hound dog puppy; her name was Sky.

DOOMSCROLLING MILLIONAIRE

I've been hired as a doomscroller, on the World Wide Web,

The position makes me famous; I'll be a party celeb,

I'll crunch down, and forward my spine,

While watching the crazed ones, opine,

Then I'll comment for coffees, until the interest doth ebb.

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MR. MACHO BLUE SKY

Mr. Blue Sky is so macho, a tough macho that makes me feel all man,

The thing that reinforces my macho, is the urinal in the man can,

I have great macho days, and big macho nights,

But, under blue skies, I have the best bar fights,

I'm macho in jail; I hope ma gets my bail money, from her boyfriend, Stan.

MY JOURNEY TO BEAUTIFUL

I got both my nipples pierced, and it really hurt,

Still, I will look rizz cool, without wearing a shirt,

Next, I'll paint my toenails navy blue,

I'll green my hair, and green my teeth too,

I'll be attractive, with the beautiful I'll flirt.

BAD DAY AT THE BEACH POEM

First, a turtle bit my toe, 
And, the pain filled me with woe, 
Then, a rattle snake bit my shin,
And, he pumped some poison in,
A large shark bit my thigh, 
And, the pain made me cry, 
Then, bird droppings fell on my head,
That’s what sent me home to bed.

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DILLY DALE DIED AND WENT BOATING

Everyone knows me as Dilly Dale,

I stepped upon a two inch roofing nail,

I left a blood trail,

Started to turn pale,

And, across the river Styx, I set sail.

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NEVER TOUCH YOURSELF, WHILE TIME TRAVELING TO CHEAT AT GOLF

I used a time machine to play golf, and I never had a better score,

I bet lots and lots of money, and made all the sucker golfers poor,

I went into the past to improve my game,

All the other golfers, their scores stayed the same,

But, I happened to run into myself, and the universe was no more.

LEIGH AND LEO HUNTED SQUIRREL

Leigh and Leo went squirrel hunting, but all the squirrels got away,

Leigh and Leo then picked forest mushrooms, so they did not waste their day,

They went home and made some hot stew,

Used the "Butcher's Special", kangaroo,

The stew was tasty, and the day was fun; next day they went bear hunting, with a bigger gun. 

I SAW THE ODYSSEY TWO

Grandma and grandpa danced to a slow, fifties, Elvis song,

They danced extremely close, and that seemed morally, so wrong,

Their feet smell like real mold,

Their hands feel icy cold,

They often break wind, and the odors are strong.

BEAR HUNTING WITH LEIGH AND LEO

Leigh and Leo went hunting for the hungry, big, bad bear,

The bear had been eating many campers, in their lair,

Leo fired his big pistol first,

Leigh made his rifle barrel burst,

The bear died puking live campers, who hugged the hunting pair.

I SAW THE ODYSSEY

I walked in on the Odyssey, which was my grandma and my grandpa making out,

Grandma bit down with her dentures into grandpa's ear, and grandpa gave a loud shout,

In came my mommy and daddy; they looked mad,

They told grandma and grandpa, they behaved bad,

Grandpa excused himself to go take his pills,  for a flare-up of something called, "gout".

PEGGY WAS PARDONED FOR A URINATION VIOLATION

Peggy poodle got a pardon for peeing in the park,

Bulldog Bernie ratted out Peggy with a ruff, ruff bark,

Policeman Paul did respond,

But, of Peggy, he was fond,

Paul blew Peggy a big kiss, but with Bernie, he was snark.