THREE SPANISH BROTHERS, THEIR BRIDES AND CANDY BEARS

There were 3 little boy babies, who came from Spain,

They grew up with two parents, in the State Of Maine,

The boys opened a flower shop,

They all got real rich, pop, pop, pop,

They each married ladies, who took gummies for pain.

PART SPOON, PART FORK: SPORK

I started eating all my meals with a thing called spork,

It's kind of like a spoon with one end like a small fork,

The spork don't stab very well,

The spork leaks soup, you can tell,

And, at the end of the day, it won't pull out a cork.

WORKING CLASS CLONES

There are millions of clones wandering our fine city streets,

They work in banks, and stores and restaurants making our eats,

Do the working clones really know?

They're just a piece of so and so,

Someone should tell them, they perform their lives as copied meats.

ADAM WAS A LITTLE, HUNGRY TROLL

Adam was a cute little troll, a cute little troll, like me,

Then our Adam grew to be six feet tall, by the age of three,

At four, Adam played college B-ball,

By then, he was nearly twelve feet tall,

But, Adam was still a troll, and kept eating the referee.

41025

THE DARK SIDE OF GUMMIES

I went to Rotterdam Michigan, where they make the tastiest gummies,

They soften the workload for the busy and ambitious, daddys and mommies,

Beware gummy creep,

It may lull you to sleep,

Some deep, eye, rem sleep is really good, too much deep, rem sleep is for dummies.

KING OF MICHIGAN

The people of Michigan, crowned me their 67th king,

I am now their great monarch with a petoskey stone ring,

I eat pies full of tart cherries,

I eat cheese from local dairies,

I live in a travel trailer, and go dancing, wearing bling.

DRAGNET FOR MY FISHING POLE

I walked out on the dock and what did I pass?

A giant, a record, an enormous rock bass,

But, my pole was at the cabin, not out on the dock,

I took it to the cabin when I listened to Bach,

So, I ran back to the cabin to look for my pole,

I looked under the chairs and in every floor hole,

But, my fishing pole was not to be found,

I remembered I left it somewhere on the ground,

Alas, I sent the kids out in a fish pole dragnet,

And, one of them found it so expectations were met,

Then, another found my worms so; I knew I was set,

Next, I ran out on the dock to see if my bass was there yet,

Then, just as I saw that big rock bass in the bay,

He heard my running vibrations and swam fast away,

So, I fished off the dock for the rest of the day,

While, minnows tugged on my worm, trying to bait me to play. 

42122

THE TORNADO EXERCISE

 tornado, and it spun around and around

I jumped into the tornado, and it took me off the ground,

Into the clouds, I took a fly,

Saw my neighbor Randy, he said,"hi",
I dropped and splattered on a roof top, and lost fifty pound.

WHAT IN THE WORLDS DOES THIS ABSURD RHYME MEAN, NOTHING?

I did not know what the reality was, until I understood the maths,

My mind got all freaky deaky, while going down dirty, multi-verse paths,

At the end of each day,

I would kneel down and pray,

I prayed to the god of the multiverse, for little soaps for multi-baths.

BLOKES, SMOKES AND CREMATED PIE

I baked a homemade, fresh raspberry pie early, last night,

I forgot it was in the oven, and the flame burned bright,

I saw no smoke before the great, pie flame,

Still, I got the biggest share of the blame,

But, my son and his 4 blokes, were binge puffing smokes, alright?

I RAN OUT OF GUMMIES AND GOT FIRED

I ran out of gummy bears, and didn't have any for a week,

So, my job performance suffered, now a new job I must seek,

I vow to never run out of gummies again,

And, I have a backup plan that consists of gin,

I don't know what to tell the wife, who thinks gummy bears, a sin.

THE SCREWWORM PHILOSOPHY

I had a screwworm deep in my brain,

It kind of tickled, there was no.pain,

Clouds unfurled into blue,

Bees and birds sang as they flew,

Screw news:  it's alright to be insane.

NOT EVERY AI CAN TRANSITION

I use to be a very productive AI,

But, I quit to become just a regular guy,

When to work I had to go,

The choo choo trains were too slow,

Guess I'll sit home eating gummies, until I die.

ALWAYS LOOK UNDER THE BOAT BEFORE YOU BUY IT

Trina bought a big, beautiful new, blue pontoon boat,

She always dreamed of going out on the bay, to float,

A shock, the boat came without pontoons,

She saved boat money, for twenty moons,

To buy the pontoons, she sold her diamonds and fur coat.

NATURE CLEARS AWAY DEBRIS, THAT'S WHY THE VULTURES WILL EAT ME

I see vultures circling me, like I am a prise, 

I get it, I am dead, and they want to chew my eyes,

On the sand beach, I lay where I lied,

Big birds will soon eat away my hide,

Maybe I've been ate out by worms, "hey big birds, surprise".

WORMS THE SCREW

My cat was loaded with screwworms, and touched my face and spread her woes,

The next day I had a jillion screwworms, screwing up my nose,

My brain was getting muddy,

My clothes were getting bloody,

I decided to wash all the blood off with my powerful garden hose.

THE CARN IN THE BARN IS MY YARN

Near an old caved-in farmhouse, there was a big, red barn,

What's kept in there, I'll tell you in this story, my yarn

It is white haired, and has six feet,

It loves the human meat to eat,

It won't touch plant food, because it is an evolved carn.13

THE EXTERMINATOR

I am a bedbug exterminator, and bedbugs is all I do,

I exterminate all your bedbugs, so your bugs quit biting on you,

I use a potent spray,

It makes them dead today,

The poison won't harm kids or pets, but it's deadly if you're an emu.  

GOLF IS THE SAND TRAP OF LIFE

Jimmy's ball was in the big sand trap; that is where Jimmy's ball was,

Jimmy punched his ball into the sand trap, when his eye caught some fuzz,

Jimmy really hated the golf game,

But, his boss loved it, so Jimmy came,

Jimmy wished that his boss loved bowling, because that's what Jimmy does.

THE MICHIGANDER WHALE

All the big whales in Lake Michigan, have beached themselves on the shore,

They know we're desperate for their oil, they're loyalty, I adore,

Their meat won't be left to rot,

We'll cook it up in a pot,

Then we will sell it for cat food, in every Michigan store.