THE COUGAR IS COMING

If a cougar you want to stop,

First you give him a karate chop,

If he rips your arm off then you stop,  

And, cry out for your mom and pop,

If a cougar sees you don't run away,

If you do he'll think you want to play,

He's going to eat you anyway,

Just chalk it off to one bad day,

The cougar is coming, so you'd best hide away,

He can still smell you for you didn't bathe today,

Now, when he eats you I can sneak off to the bay,

Out on your yacht I'll catch me some ray.

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AMADEOUS THE SKUNK

Amadeus the skunk left his scent in the air,
Everyone disliked it but he seemed not to care,
One day while all alone,
Amadeus began to moan,
Pining for friends that just were not there.

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THE SOLAR FLARES AND BEARS LIMERICK

I went and watched some solar flares,

Singed my eyeballs, gave them tears,

I burned my skin,

They told next of kin,

Then they fed what remained to the bears.

BAD WOOD

Will went out in the forest to carve some wood,

Will found a branch, he carved it good,

He carved a fighting stick,

But a wolf broke it quick,

Then Will was like nana, in Red Riding Hood.

MARSUPIAL STEW

I went and scraped marsupials off the road today,

I had to really scrape them, cause they had dried up in the clay,

Consider yourself a winner,

Cause we're having them for dinner,

I know it does not smell so good, but it keeps the bears away.