THE GROCERY CART IN THE VELVET SKY

I painted a picture on velvet, and I call it art,

It's a painting of the constellation called "Grocery Cart",

Everyone can see,

It's a stellar mystery,

For the stars in the constellation are galaxies apart.

SAMMY SEE SAW VICTORY

There was a politician, and his name was Sammy See,

He stated he'd do anything to get my vote from me,

I said I wanted pickles in a jar,

Left on the back seat of my car,

I got my jarred pickles, and Sammy won his victory.

MARY HAD TWO PAIRS OF SOCKS

Mary had just two pairs of socks, she bleached them white as snow,

Everywhere that Mary went, one pair was sure to go,

Mary bloodied up her best pair of socks,

When she tripped over a pile of rocks,

A permanent stain; Mary bought a new pair with her doe.

DENNY FELL DOWN FROM A COCONUT TREE

Big Denny fell down out of a coconut tree,

Then got buried by tree nuts, and stung by a bee,

Some runny coconut milk,

Stained Denny's  shirt, made of silk,

The bee stung Denny's eyeballs, now Denny can't see.

TED TAMED THE SHREW

My doggy ate my goldfish, and my doggy at a little shrew,

My doggy ate my new tennis shoes, because that's what doggies do?

My doggy is named Ted,

He's not right in the head,

He ripped up daddy's favorite chair, and peed on my mommy's bed.

THE WEEPING AND THE SAW

There is a tree called weeping willow, and one was weeping in the street,

It weeped upon my brand new shoes, and got wet my stockings and my feet,

I went and got my grandpa,

We came back with a chainsaw,

Grandpa cut the willow up, and gave termites a home, with lots to eat.

SIX WOODEN PEARS (A Michigan Adventure Story)

I went to a flea market in Saginaw Michigan, to buy me some wooden pears,

They had wooden pears in all colors and sizes, sorted in baskets on folding chairs,

I bought extra large pears; two green and four yellow,

I paid a pleasant man; he was a good fellow,

I took my six pears back home to Flint Michigan, but I do not think anyone cares.

GOLDFISH RHONDA ADVENTURES

Goldfish Rhonda, walked on her tale, out of the sea,

She brought me gold, so I could wear bling and watch tv,

I made buttered popcorn,

She hung around till morn,

Then Goldfish Rhonda, took a cab to Manistee.

Now That I've Got Locked In, I Can Smell My Din, Din

My term paper is due and I must get locked in,

If I don't get locked in my grade is in the bin,

My caffeine coffee is strong,

Like my chocolate Ding Dong,

If I get locked in now, I'll be done by din, din.

THE AIR SHOW DRAGON

My pet red dragon Frederick, has four wings,

They are great for doing acrobatic things,

He can swirl in a turn,

With a fire breathing burn,

Then at the end of his big air show, he sings.

WHY I WAS TENTED BY THE ER

I ate way too much, so I thought it caused me to be sick,

Then I remembered, I swallowed a pointy, thin toothpick,

To the ER I was sent,

Stayed in an oxygen tent,

I found a tv remote for my fingers to click.

SCHOOL FLUNKED, PENSION PUNKED

I failed all my finals and flunked out of college school,

I went to work for my uncle, who does dye and tool,

In my 40th year,

Claimed my pension, oh dear,

Seems my uncle had spent it on parties and a pool.

SELLING THE DILLED ON THE HILLED

I was gonna do up some sour pickles that are dilled,

I was gonna sell um, up by the highway, where it's hilled,

Then I found my dill was full of worms,

With that, I finally come to terms,

I still used the dill, and the quality, each sale confirms.

TED MEWING HIS JAW

Down in the new shopping mall,Ted was mewing on display,

Showing off his big jaw bone size, throughout the live long  day,

Before Ted headed home,

His mewing lips spewed foam,

Afterwards when people saw Ted, they fled quickly away.

AI CLOWN KITE HAS MOVES

My kite has captured the eyes of the town,

My kite has the face of a circus clown,

My kite is controlled by AI,

It twists and turns sharp on the fly,

It dives to crash, then turns sharp up, from down.

MY PARTY, THE ENEMY AND I FLEE

In a small cave I threw a nice party,

Then shows up, my worst enemy, Marty,

Marty drinks our mixed juice,

Then mean Marty lets loose,

Driving us from the cave with his farty.