MY STUPID LITTLE PONY

My little pony ate a goldfish, now pony has a belly ache,

I told him not to do it, but he did it for belligerence sake,

My pony puked on the ground,

The little goldfish, I found,

The goldfish was still flippy, flopping, so I set him free in the lake.

EYE CONES

I lost all my eye cones, and without eye cones, I cannot see,

All the pretty colors that the angels painted, just for me,

I still can see both black and white,

Now I concentrate sight, with might,

My senses are fine, and from those pesky colors I am free.

TURNING BLUBBER INTO RUBBER

I turned into blubber by taking the cabs,

So, I went to the gym to build up my abs,

I turned my soft blubber,

Into a hard rubber,

I changed eating cycles, and other bad habs.

MY TURKEY GAVE THE TOWNSHIP THE BIRD

I had the biggest turkey in the village,

So big, that they raised higher, my tax millage,

But, on turkey cook day,

The big turkey got away,

And, the town square rose bushes, it would pillage.

DEER ONLY THINK ABOUT THEMSELVES

I went into the woods hunting, and I found me a deer,

It was the end of November, and cold weather was here,

I fired my big gun,

The deer took a quick run,

I guess I must of missed him, that selfish, fur bag of fear.

SOME CALL IT SHOPLIFTING, I CALL IT TAKING SAMPLES

I slow rode my crooked broomstick to the store, 

I'm a witch, who likes to sweep the floor,

I try the ripe, fresh fruit,

And, vegetable root,

I sample the hotdogs, then sail out the door.

MY INHERITANCE ON A LIMERICK

I found an old limerick, laying on the kitchen floor,

I picked it up, and it had ground into it, something more,

It was a fried potato skin,

I ate it, and began to grin,

It was one my old grandma made, way back in '94.

THE PAISLEY SUIT

To work, I wore my brand new paisley suit,

That very day, my boss gave me the boot,

He said never come back,

It was a permanent sack,

"Get your ugly suit out of here, now, scoot."

UNCLE LEE BOUGHT SAUSAGE IN THE HOOD

Uncle Lee was in the hood, buying sausage and pop,

Uncle Lee wore his new shoes that go flip and then flop,

Uncle Lee, then went back to his crib,

He took a pill to help his heart, defib,

Uncle Lee, then grilled his sausage, dancing to hip-hop.

BLUE DO IT TOO, PIG

If I could have a little pig, a little pig would do,

If I could have a little pig, then I would name him Blue,

We could buy candy at the store,

Come home and lie down, have a snore,

Then we could watch our romance shows, and share a good boohoo. 😭

ICONIC WORD OVERDOSE

It's iconic this, iconic that, it's iconic all day long,

Everything is not iconic, stop speaking, you crazed, ding dong,

You have hurt my brain,

I'm going insane,

I'll take an iconic nap, then give ear to an iconic song.

THE HUNTER AND THE GATHERER.

I went blackberry picking, and dropped a blackberry upon the ground,

I bent over to pick up the berry, and heard a bear growling sound,

I screamed loud, and then got mauled,

For help, I forever called,

Then the bad bear bit into my bloodied arm, and dragged me all around.

GOOPY AND THE LAW OF DENTAL HYGIENE

There was something goopy, that came up through my straw,

I sucked it from my soda pop, into my jaw,

What a maddening, big waste,

I used a tube of toothpaste,

To brush the goopy away; following dental law.

I'M THE BRAIN BLOCKER: IGNORANCE RULES🤘

Ignorance is what I practice, every single day,

Ignorance is my happy place, and that's the place I stay,

For those who are smarty,

I'll ruin your party,

If you push smarty ideas, I'll be there in your way.

JIMMY'S GOLDEN ANCHOR

Jimmy owned a grocery store, and it was the plaza anchor,

Other plaza shops included, were a pharmacy and banker,

Jimmy owned the land, collected rent,

When the rent went up, tenants got bent,

Jimmy became a billionaire, despite all the tenant rancor.

WHEN DESPERATE, YOU EAT THE SKIN

I dug taters out of the ground, so I could have some dinner,

Just one tater came from the hole, it was massive, a winner,

But, it was full of worms,

I had come to terms,

I fried the peels in bacon grease, I was a tater skinner.

PSYCHIC THIRTY-FIVE TOES, AND THE BRAIN DEAD FIVE

My favorite foot, is the one with thirty-five toes,

It goes where I want it, like the foot already knows,

The foot with toes, maxed at five,

Acts brain dead, it's not alive,

It really slows me down, giving me scheduling woes.

SNOWBOUND: SQUIRRELS, SOCKS AND NUTS

It's pretty near freezing, and my socks were stolen from me,

They were stolen by squirrels, to haul their nuts up their tree,

As winter cold hits the fan,

Each squirrel and each man,

Know they'd best stock up on food, before the coming white sea.