TED CHOKED, NOW I'M ALONE

My fish bowl is so murky, a lonely murky like my sad, dead soul,

I use to have a guppy friend; he consumed fish food through his pie hole,

We were happy, little Ted and I,

Until I fed him a dead fruit fly,

Little Ted choked to death eating that fly, and my friend, the angels stole.

EPSILON CHARLIE

Charlie decided to start his own fraternity, that he called "Epsilon Charlie",

Charlie was the only member, and he sampled beers made with malt and plain barley,

All his samples were free,

Paid by the fraternity,

The funds had been raised from the sale of his grand daddy's Harley. 

SAD ANDY'S CHICKEN DINNER, AND CALL

So, Andy gives me this call,

I guess he was lonely, that's all,

He said he was sitting all alone,

Eating chicken off the bone,

Then he whimpered, and started to ball.