THE EMPEROR OF BEANS RULES ALL

There is no greater power than the Emperor of Beans,

He has turned the heads and soiled the beds of emperors, kings and queen,

No one can cleanly pass,

His unstable gas,

If that's what the Emperor deems.

BE CAREFUL CUTTING DOWN TREES

I went outside and cut down a tree,

I did it wrong and it fell on me,

So, now I slouch,

With eternal ouch,

And, drink only chamomile herb tea.

NEEDS AND MAKE BELIEVE

In the real world we need to find: warmth, water, food, shelter and some form of carnal happiness.

Everything else is just a world of make believe.

MY COMPLAINT ABOUT WORMS (IN MY SOUP)

I complained about a worm in my soup,
It squirmed around in a loop,
It was not spaghetti,
And, I don't think I'm petty,
For, at the bottom of the bowl was a group.

A Wine Maker Without A Critic

Salamander Sally liked parsnips on toast,

She also like parsnips  cooked with a beef roast,

But, her parsnip wine,

Was not rated as fine,

She attacked the poor critic and made him a ghost.

The Stinky, Pinky Popular Drinky

Popular is the new fad drink,

That is poured out in fluorescent pink,

But, you have to drink fast,

Or, the aftertaste will last,

And, for a week your breath will just stink.

AT THE END OF THE WORLD

At the end of the world I moved into a box,

I ran out of beer so, I was forced to detox,

Detox made me ache and cry,

So, when a zombie came by,

I let it bite me to numb me with pox.

THE BEAR VOTE

I decided to try to vote today,

Past armed guards claiming they have the last say,

The gunnies gave me no scare,

For I brought along my pet bear,

The gunnies soon cleared out of my way.

ARMAGEDDON MAKES MY LIMERICKS CRY

We all looked up into a pale blue sky,

And saw Armageddon on the fly,

The great fireball did not tarry,

To make my earth a cemetery,

No where to hide so, I guess we die.

Armageddon in the November fall,

So, the holidays won't come at all,

And me, the plague did not kill,

I Stayed home with my grill,

Now, my cruel earth dies by a sky fireball.