THE WARM FEELING OF MYSTERY MEAT

I go down to the Butcher's and buy "mystery meat",

They won't tell me what it is, but its real cheap to eat,

You can taste the hot pepper spice,

Burns tongue and belly, so burns twice,

It's high in calories, warming nose and hands and feet. 

THE FIT IN (2026)

I am sociopathic, and it inspires me to both dance and sing,

When I hear of tragedy for others, I hear the bells of joy, Ding,Ding!

It is very popular and cool,

To bask in this world of cruel,

Especially, when great cruelty brings, a treasure chest of coin and bling.

I LOST MY BROS WHILE RAFTING, OH WELL

My bros and I went rafting down the river, and we hit a great, big rock,

I was very surprised, but my mates were all thrown overboard, by the shock,

My mates they could not find,

I hate to sound unkind,

I kept my head; I went home for supper, and watched the news at 6 o'clock.

WITCHES MAKE ME ITCHY

I went into the woods and ran into three witches,

I said I couldn't stop and chat because my back really itches,

Then, they told me "what's worse?

Is your new itchy curse,"

So, I scratched so bad I got stitches. 

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TOM ATE HONEY UNTIL HE SMELLED LIKE A BEE

Tom ate honey until he smelled like a bee,
Which attracted the bears from every county,
Tom feared a bad beaten,
But instead, he was eaten,
By a bear who had just ate a Mountie.

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BRYAN THE MEAN ON HALLOWEEN

Bryan has an old Halloween soul,

He lives in a furnace with hot coal,

When it becomes Halloween,

Bryan goes out to be seen,

Scaring trick-or-treaters, his mean goal.

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JIMMY THIRTY-FIVE TOES DOES HALLOWEEN

Jimmy Thirty-five toes does not dress up for Halloween,

Jimmy goes barefoot, so his many toesies can be seen,

Jimmy definitely knows,

As his story grows and grows,

Jimmy will get more candy; the amount will be obscene.

82924

THERE WAS A RABBIT NAMED RANDY

There was a rabbit named Randy,
He only ate Halloween candy,
He got really big,
Now he oinks like a pig,
And drowns his sorrows with brandy.

There was a rabbit named Randy,
His fur was salty and sandy,
He gained lots of weight,
So, he couldn't get a date,
It's a good thing that Randy is handy.

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HARVEST MOON OF THE CRITTERS AND WITCHES

We had wicked lizards and crazed witches, dancing, when the harvest, got mooned,

It's the year end event, when the fall colors,  the forest fairies festooned,

For us critters, here is the thing, 

We dead sleep, until the warm spring,

We will regenerate in our caves, in our holes, and in our wraps, cocooned.

THE SOUNDS AND SMELLS OF MY FANCY CANARY

My fancy canary bird did not go chirp,

All the feather duster did was fart and burp,

Some say he was smart,

Learning how to fart,

My cat ate the bird; I won't punish the perp.

I WALKED 6-7 MILES TO SEE MY COUSIN AND AUNT CORA

I walked 6-7 miles to visit with my dear, Aunt Cora,

She slapped some stakes upon the grill for me and her cute daughter, Dora,

Our picnic on the deck,

Became a rainy wreck,

6-7 hours passed, then the rain quit watering the flora.

6-7 TIMES A DAY, I ANTI-WISH FOR WINTER, AND PRO-WISH FOR MAY

It was the big dilly, the dilly part of my dilly day,

Been dream wishing in late October, I could wakeup in May,

I am The Great Vegan,

I hale from Muskegon,

I wish all Michigan winters, would head far north of my way.

SPRING SOL AND THE BUG EGG KEEPER

Bugs have entered my long beard, and their winter eggs, they have laid,

The bugs know their eggs are safe, until Spring Sol contact is made,

I am the Bug Egg Keeper,

A super hero sleeper,

I guard the eggs with my life; don't expect to ever be paid.

FALL CORN ROAST WITH MEATS

We rurals  are celebrating the fall, by a mass roasting of corn,

Some want a pig, but I've been hungry for veal, since that new calf was born,

We roasted both farm creatures,

Allowed two main course features,

With ears of corn and two meats, every paper plate, was well adorned.