THE POLAR VORTEX

The Polar Vortex has frozen my ginger beer,

Frostbite has taken my left nostril and right ear,

Whirling snow blows around,

Hits my face pound, pound, pound,

And, a huge road grader has snuck up from the rear.

MY MORAL DILEMMA: BURGS OR THE HAPPINESS OF COWS

I always have the chewing and eating of beef burgs, on my brain,

I feel that cattle are my victims; it's brain farts for the insane,

Why for cattle rights, I should care?,

Is a race memory, wiped bare?,

I'll continue eating cattle; wish them a good life with no pain.

POX = DETOX

I came down with a case of severe pox,

I caught it from my new cereal box,

There's pox in all the stores,

In the ceilings and floors,

I feel so sick, like I did in detox.  

I USE TO VISIT SIDNEY, AT THE DOLLAR STORE IN MICHIGAN-MID

I use to go to a dollar store, when I was a little kid,

I had a much older brother who worked there, he was named, Sid,

Sid was married to Raydean,

They had kids, Bill and Maureen,

They all lived in a  tent in a park, and that is what they did.

KING BENNY AND THE SCURVY DISEASE LIMERICK

Eating meat was the only way that King Benny was pleased,

Now Benny is all nasty and scurvy diseased,

His servants offered him fruits,

He threw at them his boots,

Now he feels bad because he is well teased.

42822

THE GINGERBREAD AQUARIUM

Ron built an aquarium out of gingerbread,
It didn't hold water and his fish are all dead,
It may not be too soon,
To say Ron's mind's out of tune,
Ron thought the bread would keep his little fish fed.

102223

THE FIT IN (2026)

I am sociopathic, and it inspires me to both dance and sing,

When I hear of tragedy for others, I hear the bells of joy, Ding,Ding!

It is very popular and cool,

To bask in this world of cruel,

Especially, when great cruelty brings, a treasure chest of coin and bling.

SPRING SOL AND THE BUG EGG KEEPER

Bugs have entered my long beard, and their winter eggs, they have laid,

The bugs know their eggs are safe, until Spring Sol contact is made,

I am the Bug Egg Keeper,

A super hero sleeper,

I guard the eggs with my life; don't expect to ever be paid.

THIS IS THE LAST YEAR, I'M GOING SURFING IN THE FALL

Today, I went Fall surfing, and ooh, the water, it was so cold,

I progressed along my age timeline, 100 years; I feel old,

Now I have a big, healthy cough,

It's pneumonia; I feel off,

I've just been measured for a casket, and I'm told my house is sold.

A SAD BUGLE MEMORY

School is back, and I took my golden bugle to school,

I play it between classes; I'm the kid who looks cool,

But when I play sad taps,

It reminds me of paps,

And the day I found him lying face down in the pool.

GOODBYES, AND A FEEL GOOD TREAT

My family, all died on me, and left me completely alone,

They all got cremated, and I was left with just their ash and bone,

I took them down to the blue lake, 

Dumped them in, for the waves to take,

I stopped at the dairy place, and had a double dip, ice cream cone.

BLUE BUNNY IN THE BEAST

A cute, little, blue bunny sat up in a tree,

The bun was only two months old, or maybe three,

Along came a hunter hawk,

The hawk yelled, squawk, squawk, squawk, squawk,

The blue bunny was in the hawks, bulging  belly,

I HAVE NO EGG FOR BIRTHDAY CAKE

I have no eggs to scramble, and I have an egg and sausage ache,

I have no eggs for baking, and my kid wants a nice birthday cake,

What do.I do?

Who do I sue?

Grandma just died from the bird flu, now her poached egg, the angels make.

THE FOREST WENT QUIET

My neighbors love their poacher pie,
But when the squirrels all disappeared, it made me cry,
So because of my neighbors' diet,
The forest went real quiet,
And I no longer saw things that could swim, or run or fly.

BOBBY THE WOLF

Bobby the wolf has one good eye,
No one knows because he is sly,
He stays leader of the pack,
But, when the bears attack,
He doesn't see them, so all wolves die.


,

HEAD LICE PAIN LIMERICK

The little head lice cause me pain,
They dig into my brain,
Though loud I shout,
They won't come out,
Until they've driven me insane.

MY SALMON FISHING DAY

Salmon fishing, cold,
Leaky waders, wet socks, POW!!!
Run over, boat, OUCH!!!

2017 ON THE NEGATIVE HAIKU

New Year's Day, Big Deal,

Horizon Bleak, Sunshine Rare,

Year Of The Bed Bug!