HEATWAVE CATASTROPHE

During summer heat, my air conditioner died,

It ran so very long, it caught fire and fried,

I thought it would be nice,

If I made frozen ice,

Then my freezer broke right down, and I cried and cried.

THE SPACE LASAR GOT ME GOOD

There is this glowing space laser, some call it the sun,

It aims straight down on me, like some Martian ray gun,

It's not at all funny,

Getting zapped by the sunny

I feel cooked like a turkey, dry and crispy done.

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JIMMY BURN MOUTH AND CONTAMINATED THE COOLER

Jimmy's noodles were so hot,

They burnt his teeth that had the rot,

He sucked the water cooler,

With his drooler,

Water going down mixed with his snot.

THEFT OF THE SNOW CABIN

I went to the woods, bought a quaint cabin, made out of snow,

So in the summer, I would have a fancy place to go,

On one hot summer day,

I got off, and away,

My quaint cabin was stolen, and I had lost all my doe.

THE SAUSAGE WAS SO HOT, IT MADE SAMMY WAIL

Thursday, Sammy got his meat in the afternoon mail,

Hot pepperoni that turned Sammy's pimples all pale,

It burned while going down,

In his guts round and round,

At the end, the burn was so bad it made Sammy wail. 

THE BEAR IN THE BARN WAS WAITING FOR ME

I went out to the barn and what surprise did I find,

A bear waiting out there, like a hunter in a blind,

He waited there just for me, 

He poured two cups of coffee,

We chatted and had a chance to unwind.

HOT CHOCOLATE WOULD HIT THE SPOT, LIMERICK

The rain pelted down on my brain,

It made me 3/4 insane,

I was way out in the woods,

Picking mushroom goody goods,

Dreamed of coco, flavored with candy cane.

HEATWAVE 2023

It got so very hot, even my little pansies died,

The last live flowers in my garden, and I cried, and cried, 

Now only plastic flowers, I grow,

My lawn is astro turf; pretend to mow,

The only real plants I'll see again are ones that someone dried.

THE TEMPERATURE IS TOO DARN HIGH

It was so hot the earth felt like a grill,

I was cooking and needed a chill,

My AC would not work,

Because of a utility clerk,

I was cut off because I couldn't pay my bill.

SOLAR BEAMS

I got burnt by some hot solar beams,

Now I'm covered with ointments and creams,

It has gotten so hot,

My brains cooked quite a lot,

Now out my nostrils and eye sockets, it steams

THE THREE WISE WATERMELONS?

Three watermelons sat in one garden spot,
They were out in the sun and wow was it hot,
To cool down one used a lotion,
Another moved to the ocean,
The third got skin disease and rind rot.