POGO STICKING, GOES VIRAL

I am an alpha player, with the power pogo stick,

I jump higher and further, than all others in my clique,

I can jump twenty feet, high,

Jump the Thames, and barely try,

Now days, joining a pogo club, does not make you a hick.

HEATING LEFTOVERS FOR SUPPER

I bought a dead, dried maple tree and chopped it all up,

So, I could have firewood to cook my late-night sup,

The firewood heated fast,

My beef stew, from the night, past,

I'll still have some left for tomorrow, about a cup.

DID THE DRINK KILL ME, OR MAKE ME LOOK COOL

I went to the local grocery store, and bought a markdown, specialty drink,

It was full of caffeine, and tasted like a chemical from under the sink,

It turned my hair green,

It sickened my spleen,

I seemed to drip a big purple tear, whenever my eye would do a quick blink.

THE DIM DAN EASTER BAN

My Easter, holiday,  dinner ham, came from a one pound can,

The only invite to my dinner, was my cousin, Dim Dan,

We had squash, buttercup,

Sweet potatoes, to sup,

Dan complained that I moved slow, so he got a permanent ban.

THE ORGAN ROBBERS

There are too many parasites in the world,

My internal organs, they've hacked out, and squirreled,

As my great mind slips away,

Into an unconscious stay,

Parasites will hoist their flag, to be unfurled.

SPACE COWBOY

I dreamt I was a future, space cowboy, and my name was Ding Dong,

I flew across a prairie of stars, with my guitar and a song,

I had 12 live cows, too,

And, a pet kangaroo,

And, an AI named Bootsy, who nagged me, about all I done wrong.

MY EASTER HOLIDAY SHOPPING SPREE

I went to the local grocery store, and I bought some greens,

I bought some pork chop pork meat as a treat, and dish soap that cleans,

I bought a pound of Easter peeps,

Canned fish, that keeps,

I bought a variety of dried goods, mostly I bought beans.

THE CHEDDAR HEARTS

My kids exist to consume, pounds and pounds  of cheddar, string cheese,

They are now looking like milk cattle, because I aimed to please,

I hope maybe they'll shrink,

Drinking a diet drink,

The cheese is now clogging their tickers, and they're starting to wheeze.

BLUE BUNNY IN THE BEAST

A cute, little, blue bunny sat up in a tree,

The bun was only two months old, or maybe three,

Along came a hunter hawk,

The hawk yelled, squawk, squawk, squawk, squawk,

The blue bunny was in the hawks, bulging  belly,

MAYNARD AND THE COPYRIGHT

Maynard practiced each day, and locked into playing, his Pan flute,

He played a lot of copyright music, and got a lawsuit,

Soon, Maynard was very poor,

Pawned his flute at a pawn store,

Maynard found a stick he tried to play, but failed to make it toot.

ONE MOTHER'S LOSS, MEANS ANOTHER TAKES A REST

Way up in the oak tree, there was a Mamma robin red breast,

The bird was back from Florida, and laid four eggs in her nest,

The nest got covered up with snow,

So baby robins, did not grow,

Kitty Cat Maxine, ate the dead, egg babies, then took a rest.

BEDTIME RITUALS

I like to eat a little pineapple, it helps me digest my pills,

I also take an antacid, because the acidic fruit juice,  kills,

I whiten my teeth; I brush real hard,

Use mouthwash rinse, to cavity guard,

I turn off the lights, to lower bills, then I lockdown the window sills.

SQUIRREL CHEESE

There is no longer any cheese, for cat and I to eat,

They butchered all of the cattle, for something called, stake meat,

Can I make cheese from a squirrel?

I asked the local, town earl,

He said it would work, and there'd be a nutty flavor treat.

I'M SLEEPING IN DITCH WATER, AND IT'S FULL OF SCUM

I drove my small foreign built, coup car, off the side of the road,

Which is sad, because my little car doubles, as my abode,

A deep, wet ditch mess,

Is my new address,

The car is half underwater, and I'm too broke to get towed.

WHERE MY KIN GOES, WHEN THE WIND BLOWS

An enormous, windbag thunderstorm is blowing in,

I must protect the roof on my trailer; it is tin,

I will rope the roof to the ground,

Crawl under my bed, with the hound,

And, leave room for the stray kith,  neighbors, strangers and kin.

I BOUGHT THREE FLUTES

I bought three flutes to play, but I can only play one flute, that is mine,

So I hired two more players, so we could play three parts that combine,

One flute toots high, the other low,

The center part, is where I go,

Our spreading fame landed us a gig, at a fried chicken dine and wine.

I CAN ONLY AFFORD BONEY SARDINES

My kippers are so expensive; way too high,

I cannot understand the any reasons, why?

I just have the means,

To buy canned sardines,

The bones catch in my throat, and one day I'll die.

CASPER'S NAUTICAL ADVENTURES

My short, silver dinghy, went sinking, then sucked down,

All of my favorite fishing bait, it all drown,

Except, Casper, the leach,

Swam off to the beach,

He became a hero, in the old fishing town.

ADAM WAS A LITTLE, HUNGRY TROLL

Adam was a cute little troll, a cute little troll, like me,

Then our Adam grew to be six feet tall, by the age of three,

At four, Adam played college B-ball,

By then, he was nearly twelve feet tall,

But Adam was still a troll, and kept eating the referee.

RATS🐁🐁🐁🐁🐁

My house was full of stinky, rowdy rats; I caged them and made them pets,

I sold them for cash to neighbor kids; about that, I have no regrets,

Their parents got terribly mad,

One broke my nose, and made me sad,

I'm glad to repurpose vermin, rats; although, the neighbors it upsets.🐭