THERE ONCE WAS A TALENTED OTTER LIMERICK

There once was a talented otter,
He worked as a spinning wheel clay potter,
His kiln blew up one day,
And his house burned away,
He had tried making his kiln burn much hotter.

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THE WALRUS POSE LIMERICK

John  thought he'd strike a walrus pose,
So, he stuck two straws way up his nose,
He thought he’d be funny,
But, his nose became runny,
He dripped down the front of his clothes.

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I COME FROM A PLANET WITH TWO SUNS AND TWO MOONS LIMERICK

I come from a planet with two suns and two moons,
Many groves of apple trees line up in platoons,
It never turns night,
You live only in light,
You can eat lunch twice cause there are two noons.

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DON'T PLAY WITH A CHAINSAW LIMERICK

Joe went out to cut some firewood,
He played with the chainsaw and that's not good,
He cut off his feet,
And fell on his seat,
Now he respects the chainsaw like he should.

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AT HUNTING CAMP I GOT THE BOOT

At hunting camp I got the boot,
I spoiled the big turkey shoot,
When the turkeys came by,
I yelled “get lost or die”,
I saved lives and don’t give a hoot.

WINSTON THE SILVER DIME

Winston was an old silver dime,
He was so lazy it was a crime,
He lay on a book shelf,
Being quietly stealth,
He was found and spent by a mime.

BARTLEBY THE CRIBNER

Bartleby liked to stay in a baby crib,
He had a baby bottle, blanket and bib,
He once ran a bank,
It went into the tank,
At sixty he couldn't take any one's rib.

MONSTER RAT LIMERICK 1

I saw a big monster rat,
He's twice the size of my cat,
He scared off my dog,
Then slept like a log,
Thanks to my baseball bat.

THERE ONCE WAS A PEASANT NAMED BILL

There once was a peasant named Bill,
Finding pennies gave him a thrill,
He once found a dime,
But, it was only one time,
Finding pennies was his only skill.

BILL RAISES HIS OWN FISHING BAIT LIMERICK AND POEM

Bill found worms between all of his toes,
How they got there nobody knows,
Bill takes a hot shower,
Once each year for an hour,
Then, he trims the hairs hanging down from his nose.

Bill sighted worms down between all of his toes,
He saved them for bait when fishing he goes,
He liked to raise larvae within his large nose,
He'll have plenty of bait when fishing he goes.

CEDAR SWAMP BROOK TROUT LIMERICK

Today I decided to lounge all about,
And go fishing for some little bitty brook trout,
I took my pick,
From a cedar swamp crick,
Tasting piney; I washed them down with stout.

THE TRAGEDY THAT BEFELL MY BUD BRAD LIMERICK

It is extremely sad,
The tragedy that befell my bud Brad,
He ate angel food cake,
Then drowned in a lake,
Seems you are what you eat and that’s bad.

I GOT PINE TREE JUICE ON MY FEET LIMERICK

I got pine tree juice all over my two feet,
It's sticky and nasty and just can't be beat,
I tried to use soap,
But it gave me no hope,
I'm glad my cat thinks pine tree juice is a treat.

BRAIN EATING ZOMBIE SQUIRREL

My mind is in a complete whirl,
I was attacked by a brain eating zombie squirrel,
He jumped on my head,
Soon I was dead,
If I eat anything but brains I will hurrell.

A BEE EATING FROG NAMED BUGSY

There was a bee eating frog named Bugsy,
The bees thought that he was a thugsy,
Bugsy stuck out his tongue,
He got his tongue stung,
Now Bugsy the frog needs a hugsy.

JIM'S BLING

Jim thought removing his bling would limit his power,
So, Jim cleaned his bling when he took a shower,
But, on one really hot water day,
Jim's bling melted away,
Now, Jim has decorated himself with a flower.

A SILLY SUPER HERO LIMERICK

Ironman, Batman and, Superman one day,
Went fishing for perch far out on the bay,
Ironman became rust,
Batman turned to dust,
While Superman slept all the way.

THE SATIRICAL LIMERICK

A satirical limerick was let loose,
That helped to cook a Congressman’s goose,
It made him look bad,
So, he got really mad,
And, banned limericks for satirical use.

A HICKORY NUT LIMERICK

A hickory nut fell out of a tree,
It bounced off my head and pieced through my knee,
The doctor said well,
You have a thick skull,
But, soft in the knee bone I see.

THE SATIRICAL LIMERICK

The limerick man wrote a limerick in jail,
It was about the high cost of bail,
The judge read it twice,
Raised the bail up thrice,
So, the limerick man still sits on his tail.