LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt
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Showing posts with label
Illness
.
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Showing posts with label
Illness
.
Show all posts
Saturday, September 14, 2024
DROP PASTE SOUP
When the tuna and mayonnaise spoil,
And you have nothing to feed the highness, the royal,
Grab a cup of toothpaste,
Mix in cough drops to taste,
Serve when on the stove, you've brought the soup to a boil.
WARNING: DON'T EAT OR YOU'LL BE SORRY
WARNING: FIRE HAZARD
Thursday, May 9, 2024
ROT GUT VEGETATION AND POO
I pulled a pickle from a pickle jar, and it was hairy,
I put the pickle back and went and picked a strawberry,
Produce that is hairy,
Is awful scary,
And, often hairy, scary makes for a watery poo, poo.
5924
Sunday, January 21, 2024
BAD NOSE NEWS
It was so cold that Davey got sick,
Then he got sicker, awfully quick,
So he took a snooze,
Awoke to bad news,
His nose was plugged, and he had to pick.
Wednesday, December 27, 2023
SQUISHY RHUBARB PIE
My rhubarb pie came out real squishy,
Cousin Tim, wouldn't eat it, nor would cousin Trishy,
Uncle Bob ate it, and got really sick,
As did dad and mom and grandma Vick,
May they get well is my holiday wishy.
Wednesday, September 27, 2023
THE CARROT FARMER GOES NUTS
After creepy Mitch harvested all of his carrots,
He found no room in the house, for two squawking parrots,
Mitch left the parrots outside,
The parrots both froze and died,
Mitch dined on parrot pie, with his two silent ferrets.
Sunday, June 11, 2023
A POX ON CRISTMAS IN JULY
I got a toy train for Christmas, but I just got it out of the box,
It's almost the 4th of July, and I'm stuck home with the chicken pox,
My train goes "choo, choo, choo",
With an engine hauling cars #1 and #2,
It's run over two small plastic humans, and almost hit the rubber fox.
Saturday, December 31, 2022
GRIEVE AND HEAVE ON NEW YEAR'S EVE
The big ball was dropped on New Year's Eve,πππππ
It crushed a guy below, named Steve,πΆ
There was not time for us to grieve,π’
The drinks were gone, and it was time to leave,π·πΈπΉπ»
We all went home to have a heave. π½
Monday, December 27, 2021
TICK SICK
Lots of people are getting the sicks,
Because they're being bitten by little ticks,
Of course gasoline,
Got me really clean,
But I should of stayed away from lit candle wicks.π¬
Sunday, August 22, 2021
CAVORTING AND RUBS
Docs told me my innards and outsides are crawling with bugs,
Because, I've been cavorting with strangers and giving them hugs,
So, they prescribed me some rubs,
Told me to steer clear of some pubs,
And, it wouldn't hurt if I deep cleaned my bedding and rugs.
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