I painted my black and white cat, He was playing with a squeaky-toy rat, I sold the painting for big cash, So, I'm painting more mishy-mash, I'm living off those with a wallet that's fat.
There is a nasty boogieman who lives under my bed, He likes to chew on my old shoes and bop me in the head, I know he is a dirty stinker, But he's friends with my blabby cat, Tinker, So to keep peace I keep my complaints unsaid.
There was a dog named Feelings, Feelings liked to roll around in the dirt, His master kept Feelings all penned up, Because he didn’t want his feelings hurt. There was a cat named Blue, He was mean and kind of scary, Blue would eat only fruit this is true, Now he looks like a fat blue berry.
My vegetable garden was never real green, It was mostly brown from the beet to the bean, But, I never got wiser, Used the same fertilizer, From the cat's litter box when I clean.
I got pine tree juice all over my two feet, It's sticky and nasty and just can't be beat, I tried to use soap, But it gave me no hope, I'm glad my cat thinks pine tree juice is a treat.
My kitty had a squeaky toy, Shaped like a mouse it brought great joy, On the morn of each day, Squeaky mouse got such play, By afternoon it would really annoy.
In my garden there was a pile of scat, I first thought is was the work of my cat, Then, standing there was a yeti, Which made the pile seem petty, The yeti smiled and gave my bald head a pat.