GRIEVE AND HEAVE ON NEW YEAR'S EVE

The big ball was dropped on New Year's Eve,🕛🎉🎉🎉🔔

It crushed a guy below, named Steve,🚶

There was not time for us to grieve,😢

The drinks were gone, and it was time to leave,🍷🍸🍹🍻

We all went home to have a heave.   🚽

WARNING: BUTTERMILK DOES NOT COME FROM BUTTERFLIES

I tried to milk some buttermilk from butterflies who flied,

But I did not get no buttermilk, and all the butterflies died,

Woe is me,

I should have set them free,

At their memorial I cried and cried.

,

BETTER LUCK IN 2023

On the Eve of New Year's, I went beddybye,

It was long before midnight so, I missed the old year die,

But it was year of bad dealings,

So I had no feelings,

Save that next year will not go awry.

END OF YEAR AIR TRAFFIC BOOHOO

It's the end for 2022,

Boohoo, boohoo,

No use to fret and stew,

Not much one can do,

But figure out which airlines, that we need to sue.

2022, THE YEAR OF CHANGE

I need to change in the year 2022,

Or it will be another year that I truly rue,

I'll paint my bedroom blue,

Buy all my sweats brand new,

And hang out at classy places with a better smelling crew,

I FED MY PET UNTIL I WAS INSANE

I once had a pet  blood sucker named Pete,

Only my blood Pete would eat,

And as Pete grew much fatter,

I became mad as a hatter,

Lack of blood caused my brain to delete.

MONSTERS GET YOY

We know where the monsters are, they living out in your sleep,

And if you do not keep awake, they will make your kinfolk weep,

The monsters are scary,

All big and all hairy,

And they can eat you before you go "Beep".

SANTA WHO DRIVES THE SLEIGH, HAS A PRINCETON MBA

Santa made reindeer jerky, after he stored away the sleigh,

Santa made plenty of jerky, enough to feed the elves until May,

Santa made reindeer stew,

With the veggies he grew,

Using retired reindeer, so pension payments went away.

SELF-STICKING FLOOR TILE IS TRICKEY

I bought some floor tile but made the wrong pick,
My self-sticking floor tile didn't want to stick,
So, I got out some glue,
And, when I was through,
I knew self-sticking floor tile required a trick.

SIDE AFFECTS WHEN MAKING MOUTH MASH FOR CASH

There was a little angel, sitting on my toe,

He was scratching his back, on the toenail I let grow,

There was a little devil, sitting on my knee

He whacked my knee with his hatchet, and boy did that hurt me,

And, on my belly sat the prettiest unicorn,

He stabbed my belly deep with his twisted, sharpened horn,

Then in my mouth there was the devil fermenting mash,

He said he'd make it up to me, when he bootlegged his whiskey for some cash.

THE SOUP DECEIT

I limped down the street with my work tired feet,👣

I was looking for a booth with hot soup to eat,🍜

I entered one and got soup,🍵

Like a cold ice cream scoop,🍦

It pained me with brain freeze, and I resent the deceit. 🤕😡😠

TIM BLOWS THE SNOW LIMERICK

Tim blows the snow all winter long,

Wearing heavy cloths and a woolen thong,

He sings a jolly snowblower song,

One might conclude Tim is ding dong,

But if he blows my drive, I'll admit I'm wrong.

REVENGE IS BEST SERVED SALTY

The kitchen boss called me a stup,

A certified nincompoop,

That made me so mad,

I done a real bad,

I poured too much salt into the soup.

CHRISTMAS PINE NEEDLE TEA WAS THE VERY END OF ME

The needles on my Christmas tree, were treated with bug spray,

So when I drank pine needle tea, I was dead by end of day,

The ground was froze,

And so it goes,

I wasn't buried til end of May.

WEAR APPROPRIATE CLOTHING

When blogging a blog, wear blogger socks,

That's when my blog really rocks,

When trading stock online,

Drink red trader wine,

And those going running, wear running jocks. 

OTTER

Mini Ta Ta was an otter,

She liked movies, like Harry Potter,

She did magic tricks,

With homemade toothpicks,

She moved to Florida where it was hotter.

GRANNY LIKED TO CATCH FISH OUT OF SEASON LIMERICK

Granny liked to catch fish out of season,
She liked to eat them that was her reason,
She caught bass and brown trout,
And any others about,
She ate fresh fish but most were for freezen.

THE OYSTER EATING SUNFISH

There was a sunfish that liked to eat oyster,
He marinated it to make it much moister,
He once invited over a date,
But, his oyster did not rate,
It had the texture of rope from a cloister.

The Runny One Is In The Soup

I had four chickens in my coup,

They all could do the hula hoop,

I needed one for chicken soup,

I picked the chicken that peed it's poop,

That one was the outcast of the group.

I AM INTERNET CONFUSED

Online bloggers have confused me a lot,😈🖥

I can't remember if something happened or not,🤔⌛⏳

It seems The Mandela Effect shall reign,😟

Until we all are insane,😵

It must be some alien plot. 👽👾🤖

WHAT GROWS?

Mini Ta Ta picked her nose,

She wiped the booger between her toes,

Be it a dragon or a rose,

She wanted to see just what grows,

Then she'd pick out pretty hair bows.