SCHOOL FLUNKED, PENSION PUNKED

I failed all my finals and flunked out of college school,

I went to work for my uncle, who does dye and tool,

In my 40th year,

Claimed my pension, oh dear,

Seems my uncle had spent it on parties and a pool.

THE LAST BOY TO SELL BANANAS

The last boy to sell bananas, sold them on the main city street,

He made money selling bananas, because they are good to eat,

He stole them from daddy's small store,

Then, deliveries came no more,

Bananas had gone extinct, so the boy sold pickled piggy feet.

WHAT I'VE DONE SENCE COLLEGE

I studied corporate finance, also quantum physics two,

I got a job in banking, managed money, for people like yew,

Then the securities market tanked

My security licence was yanked,

Now I'm in a federal prison, but I got a window view.

CRUSTY, RUSTY MOUTH

I thought I had a gold tooth that was crusty,

Turns out it was tin and went rusty,

I was charged for the gold,

But, tin I was sold,

Couldn't sue, because my dentist went busty.

RABIES, RED ROIDS AND LIP BOILS

I set up a shop that sold only snake oils,

I claimed they cured rabies, red roids and, lip boils,

But, the authorities, they care,

Said, "there's no real science there,"

So, in the state prison laundry I toils.