HANK PLAYED U-BOAT IN HIS DINGY

Hank was surprised that his old dingy would float,

He had used it as a barn for his pygmy pet goat,

But, when the Hankster jumped in,

He saw a hole in the tin,

So, Hank ended up playing U-boat.

 

THE WHY I DON'T EAT FRESH STUFF LIMERICKS

I BOUGHT A PEAR
Rob bought a pear with a real big bad spot,
When he bit into it it was all full of rot,
Rob ate the pear to the core,
Then, His innards got soar,
And, He spent the rest of the day on the pot.

 IMAGINATION AND DIET  
I ate nothing but veggies at every meal,
Although such flavors lack all appeal,
So, I imagined I was eating steak,
Followed by frosted cream cheese cake,
And, I gained 50 pounds, what's the deal?

 

ODE TO FRANK THE SEA HORSE LIMERICK

I had a sea horsey named Frank,
He swam around in my fish tank,
I gave him some beer,
Now Frank is not here,
He drank the beer and then sank.

Frank was a seahorse that swam all day,
He din't work so he received no pay,
He got real mean,
Attacked the bubble machine,
Now on the bottom of the tank Frank lay.

THE ROW BOAT PLUG POEM

There was quest to find a plug,
To stop my little row boat from leaking,
But, my plug was made of cork and floated away,
For other holes it went a seeking,

Now I sit in my boat at the bottom of the bay,
Looking up through the water at the skies above,
I wish I had taken that swimming class offered last may,
Then, I would be home with my kitty cat love.

THE BOYS OF HUMMER

The Boys of Hummer was a male humming choir,

They entertained when the need was dire,

When a wedding or parade came along,

They would hum us an old song,

Then, they got old and had to retire.

HARVEY THE LEPRECHAUN POEM

Harvey was a Leprechaun,
He dressed in royal purple, not green,
He thought that he was royalty,
A distant cousin of the queen,

Harvey claimed a castle for his noble self,
He had a genetic test done to claim it,
But, the test proved Harvey was not a royal heir,
His cause had become a lame bit,

Now Harvey’s dress is all in green,
And, believes he is a very great singer,
Although, he sings off key, his tone unclean,
He thinks that with Mario Lanza he’s a dead ringer.

HEAD LICE PAIN LIMERICK

The little head lice cause me pain,
They dig into my brain,
Though loud I shout,
They won't come out,
Until they've driven me insane.