THE GOOD AND BAD WITCHES

Two little witches met way out in the wood

One was really bad, the other really good,

Their friendship was tight,

But the good witch did not bite,

The bad witch that bit, lived in a hungry hood.

SHOULD I

Should I give the dog a bone?

Should I play the baritone?

Should I eat an ice cream cone?

Should I talk with softer tone?

Should I pay my student loan?

Should I buy a new cell phone?

Should I rent or should I own?

Should foul language I condone?

Should I park in a no parking zone?

Should I fly an aerial drone?

Should my golfing skills I hone?

Why do the answers remain unknown?

I RAN OVER MY FOOT WITH A MOWER LIMERICK

I ran over my foot with a mower,
Now, I’m walking a little bit slower,
My foot is really soar,
When it comes down on the floor,
I’m giving up land to be a tin boat rower.

I DON'T PUT THE QUARTERS IN MY LEAKY POT

I took a pottery class and made me a pot,
But, it didn't hold liquids because it leaked a lot,
So, I stored in it my change,
The denominational range,
Except quarters, I spend all that I got.

SALLY PLAYED THE RECORDER LIMERICK

Sally could play the recorder,
She broke hers and put one on order,
It was sent one day,
But, to Sally’s dismay,
The recorder was sent north of the border.

FOUR FROGS PLAYED LAWN JARTS

Four Frogs Played Lawn Jarts,
Oh my, oh me,
One got stuck by a lawn jart and then there were three,

Three frogs played lawn jarts,
Down by the lake,
One wandered off and was ate by a snake,

Two frogs played lawn jarts,
But really one was a toad,
And that was the one that was squashed on the road,

One frog played lawn jarts,
He won every game,
But, playing lawn jarts alone is incredibly lame.

Warning:  Lawn Jarts is a dangerous game and should not be played by frogs.

 

GREAT BULLFROGS THE SIZE OF DEER

In a hidden pond they did appear,
Great big bullfrogs the size of deer,
One ate a bear, 
That made me scare,
Now, in the tavern I'll drink my beer.

HIGHWAY TEXTING AND BRIDGES AND TOADS

Trish would text while driving down the highway,
It seems that she had much she needed to say,
But, while texting friend Midge,
She drove off of a bridge,
Her mobile service was cancelled that day.

Trish liked to text as she drove down the road,
She once swerved her car when glancing a toad,
The toad is O.K.
But, Trish had to pay,
Since, she crashed into an old man's abode.  

I JARTED THE ZOMBIES

The zombies were coming and I was alone in my shack,

I had nothing to fight off a great zombie attack,

I looked under my bug filled cot,

I found the lawn jarts I'd forgot,

I killed the zombies then made my evac.

THE VOLE POACHER

I took off to Canada across Lake Superior ice,

I came to open water and had to rethink my plan thrice,

I'm hunted by a G-man because I hunted voles to eat,

I barely got the voles half fried when, through the front door comes the heat,

I ran out the back door with dogs chasing after me,

Unfortunately, they were my dogs barking my locality,

I could just see frozen Lake Superior when I felt hot lead graze my thigh,

My bag of chaw was shot down and I ask Dear Lord, why oh, why? 

So, I came to open water and it looked like a cold, cold swim, 

And, even if I made it I'd have no chaw at the Canadian rim,

I've spent many years in prison pondering the error of eating voles for din,

I wish I had made it to Canada where eating voles isn't considered a sin. 

UNICORN HORN

I've been eating dear meat since I was Born,🍔

Today I got hankering for the Unicorn,🦄

I went unicorn hunting,🏹

Found a big one was grunting,👀

He horned me through the heart, now I'm torn.💔😵

FALL SNOW

As fall begins to go,

Along comes the snow,

First pretty, and then a foe,

Then in inches it starts to grow,

Snowblower man takes all my doe.

HENRY'S RUN

Henry ate tainted pork, then said he couldn't stay,

So he ran to the toilet which was two blocks away,

He ran into a nun,

That ended his run,

Henry now smelled of poor hygiene, so the nun made him pray.