I GET EVEN WITH GUPPIES

I was raising expensive little corals in my guppy, fishy tank, 

I wanted to sell corals for money, and put the money in the bank,   

But, those crazy, guppy fish,

Ate my corals, for nutrish,  

I put in the guppy tank a piranha, and his name is Hungry Hank.

BILLY GOT ITCHY

Bill penned out a song that was extraordinary, real nice,

He made the melody on his harmonica, device,

The record was a go,

And, Bill loved the cash flow,

But, he got served for divorce, because he brought home leg lice.

"STICKY FINGERS" RODNEY RAN THE TILL

The gross profit results looked extremely odd,

So, I took it to my accountant, named Todd,

He said someone's been stealing,

From the till, they've been peeling,

I knew it was my daughter's boyfriend, named Rod. 

LAKE SHARKS

There are sharks in all Michigan lakes,

They attack tourists on vacation breaks,

A shark took off my leg,

So, I carves me a peg,

Now, I hunt them to.get me some steaks.

THE TAINTED LEMONADE LIMERICK

MY LEMONADE STAND

The lemonade I sold was not from good juice,

My customers complained that their bowls got too loose,

And, one lady fainted,

Then, called my lemonade tainted,

I ran off when I saw the crowd with the noose. 

WHAT MARTIANS WANT

I bought a large stretch of real estate on planet Mars,

I opened a dealership to sell electric cars,

The Martians would not buy,

Claimed the prices were high,

So I closed down, then opened some disco tech bars.  

THE BEAVER, PANSY AND FRIENDS

Pansy was a beaver, and she dove for fish all day,

Nancy had a clever, and cleaned fish down by the bay,

Pansy sold Nancy fresh fish,

Chef Helen bought the fish for a dish,

They all loved their work, though the profits were only o.k.

THE TAINTED LEMONADE LIMERICK

MY LEMONADE STAND

The lemonade I sold was not from good juice,

My customers complained that their bowls got too loose,

And one lady fainted,

Then called my lemonade tainted,

I ran off when I saw the crowd with the noose. 

TENNESSEE MOONSHINE GENES

Because I live in Tennessee,

I drank moonshine till I couldn't see,

Then mamma gave me a slap,

Said I was a drunk, just like pap,

He'd pass out, then he'd pee.

I AM PROTEIN

I went to see witches to buy magic brew,

Alas, they hit me on the head and threw me into their stew,

It wasn't so bad,

Between the potatoes and bread,

I was the protein for one meal, maybe two.