A RARE-BOURBON OR A BUCK AND A QUARTER FOR BEER

Passionate Pete Porter
Was a rare-bourbon snorter,
But, one day he tried beer,
Then, his new passion was clear,
And, each glass cost just a buck and a quarter.

MOLLY MELANCHOLY FOUND A CAREER

Molly was so melancholy,
She went to funerals to feel jolly,
And, at the service where others would mourn,
She'd crack a soda and eat popcorn,

While other girls at night would roam,
Molly spent her nights at the funeral home,
Molly so much loved the death tradition,
Molly studied and became the town mortician.