BOWLING FOR BEERS AND ROMANCE

My buds and I went romance trolling,
To places that had cold beers and bowling,
But, after ten gutter balls,
And, getting embarrassing cat calls,
Towards home alone I went strolling.

A DAY ON THE LAWN

My riding mower got stuck in a rut,
My push mower wouldn't even put-put,
 My weed whacker rolled over with a wheeze,
The only thing it whacked were my arthritic knees.

I SMELL A LITTER BOX

I have the laziest cat in my dwelling,
Lately, his litter box has been smelling,
I told my cat to clean it out,
But, he just cracked open another stout,
Then, said that if I didn't clean it out he was telling.

DON'T BLOG BAD FACTS ABOUT SANTA

There were some bloggers on the net,

Who found some facts that many regret,

Regarding a violent Santa Claus,

Who got divorced for just cause,

Now, all Santa's fans are upset. 

ODE TO MY SNOW COVERED SHACK ON THE HILL

My snow covered shack up on the hill,
Came crashing down upon my still,
It buried my corn, my sugar, my mash,
It even buried two cans of corned beef hash,
All I saved were some pickles; I think they're dill.

TINKLE, TINKLE LITTLE CAR

Tinkle, tinkle little car,
Your oil leaks on the road tar,
Your radiator too,
Is leaking green-blue,
I don't think you'll go very far.