BASEMENT PARTY OR LAWN JARTS

No one would party with Marty,

Because his basement always smelled farty,

So, Marty spiffed up the air, 

Put on clean underwear,

Still, all stayed outside playing lawn jarty.

PRESERVES IN THE DEEP

I lost all of my strawberry preserves,

In the car crash where I missed the swerves,

On the last swerve to make,

I didn't see the lake,

Now, fish have what my toast deserves.

I BOUGHT LARGER BLUE JEANS

In order to feel thinner I bought larger blue jeans,
I went out to dance at all the popular scenes,
But, when I danced around,
My jeans slipped off to the ground,
I guess humility is something one weans.

MY GRITTY EGGS

My scrambled eggs ain't pretty,

They are mostly grits and gritty,

When you barf, you'll have my pity,

Then, you'll complain on Face and Twitty,

As to my cooking, you'll be quitty.

IT CAME TO THE FAIR

I was manning a fair booth way, way late at night,

I was all alone, there were no peoples in sight,

BAM!!! a great lightning strike,

And, the lights take a hike,

Then, in steps a werewolf and, he knew what to bite.

WHEN DADDY AND MOMMY ARE KISSY KISSING

They were spooning, making out, first basing,

Out in public and, it was disgracing,

It was my mum and dad,

And, they were making me mad,

Their lovy-dove, for my street cred, was defacing. 

TITLE ME THIS

I am a titleist and my writing just stinks,

But, I write really great titles so, I'm added to links,

Then, when my writings are read,

No one knows what I've said,

And, the excitement for my title just sinks.

ANOTHER URBAN FAIR BOOTH STORY

I went to the Fair to work in a booth,

Got attacked by a mare that kicked out my tooth,

Then, a sow ate my toes,

A goat bit off my nose,

I swear to you all, that's the truth.