LIMERICKS AND STUFF By Leigh Collin Brandt
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Showing posts with label
horror
.
Show all posts
Showing posts with label
horror
.
Show all posts
Thursday, April 18, 2024
SIR ED NEEDS A DONATION
In the annuals of time, there was a dark night, called Sir Ed,
He became really vengeful, when someone cut off his head,
He'd ride searching, on his horse,
For a donor head, of course,
But, if Ed did find one, he would make the donor quite dead.
Tuesday, April 16, 2024
THE ZOMBIE RECKONING
Now that we zombies have won the last of all wars,
We are eating the living to settle old scores,
The living killed zombies, like dad,
That made me incredibly sad,
But, crackers, brains and marshmallows, make yummy s'mores.
Sunday, April 7, 2024
THE SIGN OF EVIL
I saw the sign of evil, I fear the most,
Six big locusts landed on my whole wheat toast,
My lower jaw made a sag,
Then I drooled on my dish rag,
I knew that by nightfall, I would be a ghost.
Thursday, April 4, 2024
DADDY SOLD MEDICAL SUPPLIES IV
We were so hungry, having absolutely no meat,
Daddy went looking for organs, to sell, or to eat,
Poor daddy worked on some guy,
When a police car passed by,
Now at the dinner table, is daddy's empty seat.
Wednesday, March 27, 2024
DADDY SELLS MEDICAL SUPPLIES, AND MOMMY WANTS HER CUT
Daddy sells appendages like human fingers and human toes,
Surprising what rich people pay, for a pretty human nose,
Organs are where the money's at,
My mommy tells my daddy that,
Mommy has gotten more involved, as daddy's business grows.
DADDY SELLS MEDICAL.SUPPLIES II
Daddy bought and sold things, like human lungs and human hearts,
There's a lot of old rich people needing many new parts,
There was an old man in Sydney,
He needed a fresh, new kidney,
Daddy won one from our neighbor, in a game of lawn jarts.
Tuesday, February 27, 2024
THE BEAST OF SUMER VALLEY
The beast that lives in Sumer Valley,
Eats the peasants, quite a tally,
He will jelly them for toast,
Or for dinner, a lamb roast,
With pitchforks and torches, the peasants will rally.
Thursday, February 22, 2024
THE PIT AND THE PENDULUM REMASTERED
Johnny was captured, and taken to the pit,
He got cut by a pendulum, that was it,
He got cut in half,
Infected with staff,
Now Johnny has no way that he can sit.
22224
Saturday, February 17, 2024
FEEDING THE WEREWOLF
I was out in my garden, sitting in my summer seat,
Waiting for the werewolf, for he was coming for his meat,
I heard a crackling in the wood,
Behind me, the werewolf stood,
I felt his hot breath, his teeth, and he proceeded to eat.
21724
Sunday, February 11, 2024
RISE OF THE DREADED DEAD
As we summoned up the dead,
All the sky turned bloody red,
With our sacrifice, the demons were fed,
They drank the blood from the severed head,
Then from the graves the corpses were led,
To stalk the living and bring them dread,
While the living slumber in quiet bed,
Making pretty dreams, instead.
PP10102022
AI AND THE ZOMBIES
AI put some chips in my head,
That raised me back from the real dead,
I started snarling for food,
AI said "ok, dead dude",
AI gave me some brains, now I'm fed.
Thursday, January 25, 2024
THE JANUARY WOLF MOON
When the Wolf Moon rises,
There be terror surprises,
The hooting owl,
The wolf howl,
Most dangerous, friendly disguises.
Monday, October 23, 2023
WEREWOLF WAITING
There was a werewolf waiting up in an oak tree,
He was waiting there for hours, just for me,
He jumped down on my head,
Made me feel half dead,
Then he took off saying, he had to go pee.
Sunday, September 3, 2023
TOE TAG BENNY, CAME BACK FROM THE DEAD
Benny was stone cold and toe tagged, when he came back from the dead,
His resurrection was unnerving, that's what the nurses said,
It unnerved his spouse,
Who moved out of the house,
So, Benny moved in a demon roommate, and his name was Fred.
Tuesday, August 22, 2023
THIS ZOMBIE POEM KILLS
Seven brain hungry zombies followed me home,
I used a rock and cracked three of them in the dome,
I defeated three with a stick,
They don't move real quick
I destroyed the seventh one's brain, when I recited this poem.
Wednesday, August 16, 2023
WHY I'M HIDING IN THE BARN
There was a goblin in my shower,
He was nine feet tall, that goblin tower,
He was all teeth and scales,
So, I made screams and wales,
Then, I ran to the barn where I cower.
Tuesday, July 25, 2023
WHY ZOMBIES CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS
Zombies complain that they don't have nice stuff
Of course, Zombies tend to live in the ruff,
They have no schooling,
Always leaking and drooling,
They stagger and crash, acting real tough.
MY RELATIONSHIP WITH A WEREWOLF, IT'S COMPLICATED
Werewolves are never any fun,
They just eat you, and leave you, they're done,
For a true love, a friend,
Wouldn't consume you in the end,
Then off to another they run.
Monday, July 10, 2023
WHEN BRINE SHRIMP ATTACK
My tank full of guppies was completely unease,
So I bought some brine shrimp, to try to please,
One brine shrimp grew bigger,
Ate my fish and cat, Trigger,
I now beg him for mercy, while down on my knees.
Wednesday, June 21, 2023
SKEETERS
I've never seen so many big skeeters,
Some of them are as long as eight meters,
Why they grow so darn big,
No scientist can fig,
We must stop them, for the human race teeters.
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