DUMPED BY PHIL, GREW WEED OF DILL

I got depressed when I got left by my Phil,

So I got me some dill seeds and grew me some dill,

My licenced dill farm,

Done no one no harm,

 Till I powdered the dill weed and made a thrill pill.

MY TOAD CHEWED EARS

My toad likes to nibble my ears,

I said, "stop, or I'll cut off your beers",

He did not stop,

So he's drinking just pop,

But he spikes it, that's what I fears.

MY SPACESHIP WENT BOOM II

My big spaceship; it went boom,

Some said it was my financial doom,

But I got all the money,

From my government honey,

Politicians, I know how to groom.

BOOM WENT THE SPACESHIP

I launched a big, big spacecraft, and it blew up in the sky,

I lost a billion dollars, the people below the ship, only die,

Lucky I got a subsidy,

Others lost money, not me,

I got given even more money, next time my ship might fly.

,

MY SQUIRREL AND THE EAGLE FLEW OFF TOWARD THE LEIGH

My pet squirrel ran up a tree,
For I had trained him to pick the nuts for me,
Then, along came an eagle,
And, he did something illegal,
Grabbing my squirrel and flying off toward the leigh.

MY ROOMMATE IS A DIRTY DOG

My roommate is a dirty dog,
He ate my groceries, he is such a big hog,
The toilet he won’t flush,
Or give it a brush,
To ask him to sweep is like asking a log.

MY KITH AND KIN FINALLY GOT SOME BRAINS BETWEEN 'EM

I was attacked by zombies, and they were my kith and kin,

They opened my head, ate my brains like sardines in a tin,

Fed kids who were poor,

The old ones who snore,

All were satisfied by me, as I fed them their din, din.

FOLLOW THE YELLOW, SICK TOAD

Some guy got lost way out in my woods,

We robbed him, we were dressed with yellow hoods,

I told him, "follow my bro, The Toad",

"He knows the way to the main road,

Toad is always sick, because he don't bath like he shoulds."

LITTLE THREE BEANS EATS, THEN PLAYS HULA HOOPS

Little Three Beans loved his salty, sippy soups,

He use to love salads, but they gave him poops,

Three Beans never eats meats,

Because they smell like feets,

Three Beans eats carbs, before he plays hula hoops. 

THE WEIRD LITTLE VAMPIRE BITES WOOD

There was a little vampire, who bit me on my leg,

I implored him not to, because my leg was a wood peg,

He then felt lots of grief,

When he broke off his teeth,

Now he goes to blood banks, for his nourishment he must beg.

DUH OR DO RHYMES WITH KANGAROO?

Why do they call it Florida, instead of Florido?

Would you rather call it duh, or rhyme it with kangaroo? 

Names should be real sweetie cute,

Gives recognition a toot, toot,

Guess I'll say no more about duh, or I'll get kicked hard by the boot.

He'll Never Eat Zombie Again

The zombies came for a meal of my brains,

I killed them with my saw that spins chains,

Zombie parts flew everywhere,

Smell attracted a big bear,

Zombie meat gave the big bear belly pains.

FOLLOW THE DESIGNATED TRAIL

My snow machine didn't stay on the designated trail,

When a tree stoped the machine, my bod went for a sail,

The tree trunk was quite hard,

It stoped me, I was jarred,

I didn't know my body was so incredibly frail.

CELEBRATE SPRING'S BIRTH DAY, NOT BIRTHDAY

I love the birth day of the spring,

It lures me to both jig and sing,

But the snow,

It did not go,

It's kinda a loose string.

MY FAJITA FELL ON THE FLOOR

My fajita fell onto the kitchen floor,
I was sad because I couldn't make anymore,
I had no meats, veggies, cheeses,

To make a fajita that pleases,

I was feeling extremely fajita poor.