WEREWOLF WAITING

There was a werewolf waiting up in an oak tree,

He was waiting there for hours, just for me,

He jumped down on my head,

Made me feel half dead,

Then he took off saying, he had to go pee.

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I AWOKE FROM A COMA

I woke up from a coma, and I am nothing but bones,

I lost all of my fat and my impressive muscle tones,

I spent ten years as a pile,

Dwindling away, all of the while,

I cannot see in color, because I lost my eye cones.

THE ROCK NESTERS

I listened to the band, Rock Nesters, when I was a tween, rage boy,

They were an aging birdie band, but they sang of true love and joy,

The Rock Nesters Band, 

Toured across the land,

They should have lasted longer, but each loved their manager,

 Coy Roy.  

ZIPPY EATS TIPPY

I had a toothy, pet fish, his name was Zippy,

He was a piranha, he ate my dog Tippy,

I yelled at Zippy; he made tears,

We made kiss/nice, over some beers,

Zippy went to the head, for a Tippy rippy.

HONEY BEAR, TUESDAY FREAK

There is a big, smelly, honey bear, named Tuesday Freak,

His early a.m. podcast, is an early news peek,

He tended a left bent,

That didn't pay his rent,

Bears seek out Freaks podcast, if it's right wing news they seek.

I SHOWED THE MOSS JUST WHO IS BOSS

My roof was all covered with green moss,
Some fertilizer, I gave a toss,
The moss dried up and it died,
I take belligerent pride,
In showing moss just who is the boss.

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DAVY AND THE SEAHORSE

When Davy dove under the sea,

He met a seahorse named Lee,

And, for just a dime each,

The seahorse gave rides to the beach,

The beach was where Davy went for his tea.

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SAM AND THE SPUNKY SKUNK

There was this real handsome mink, his name was Saginaw Sam,

He had luxurious fur, because Sam ate fatty ham,

Sam dropped out of banjo school,

To play professional pool,

At age three, Sam got married to a spunky skunk, named Pam.

CLYDE THE SPIDER LIMERICK

There once was a spider named Clyde,
He built spider webs with such pride,
Then, down came a great rain,
The webs went down the drain,
Now, he builds all his webs inside.

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DINNER WITH A KING

I went fishing and caught one big, beautiful, king salmon fish,

I cooked it in the oven, after I put it in a dish,

Out of the oven, the fish smelled fine,

Tasted great with cranberry, red wine,

After dinner and making merry, a nap was my first wish.

MISDEMEANOR BOB WITHOUT BAIL

Bob went to court, and a very mean judge was there,

Bob smiled real pretty, but that judge did not care,

Bob had no money for bail, 

So, he went to county jail,

They furnished Bob a jumpsuit, but no underwear.

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PUT THE GOLDFISH TO WORK

I have a big, all orange goldfish that I named Mr. Tew,

He likes working leather, that's about all Mr. Tew do,

If He passes away,

I will morn him that day,

Then I'll get goldfish Mr. Three, and he'll make stuff with glue.

COMPOST PILE FIRES HAVE CONSEQUENCES

My compost pile caught fire and burned down my garden shack,
Now when I'm done working I have no place to put tools back,
So, my tools lay in the yard,
Getting rusty, crusty hard.
And, I cannot replace them because the finances I lack.

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MY GOOGLE IS FADING AWAY

I googled my given name and what news did I find?

I found my reputation has steadily declined,

After work, washing dishes,

On the beach, near the fishes,

I'll fall asleep after drinking some cheap, homemade wine.

BALLS, PINS, RASPBERRIES AND SINS

It's a wild, wild raspberry ride,

As big bowling balls and large pins collide,

The bouncing of pins,

Is like forgiveness of sins,

A new found peace, once the bounces subside.

BAD TOAD

A toad hopped upon my tablecloth, expecting to eat for free,

I had roast chicken, corn and taters, I cooked up for only me, 

On my table, I laid out my meal,

A great dinner, with an eye appeal,

I told the toad to "get"; he lifted his leg, and commenced to pee.

9125

THE TOAST GHOST MADE ME COAST

When for breakfast, I prepared me some toast,

It fell on the floor and became a meal ghost,

So, with no toast to fill,

My stomach went ill,

Then, all day at my job I did coast.

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WHY I'M HIDING IN THE BARN

There was a goblin in my shower,

He was nine feet tall, that goblin tower,

He was all teeth and scales,

So, I made screams and wails, 

Then, I ran to the barn where I cower. 

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SNOUT PARTY

I went to Midland Michigan to buy me a pig,

A pig that would work hard, using his pig snout to dig,

I wanted truffles to eat,

Trained pigs can smell truffle meat,

With truffles and ham, my dinner party will be big.

IN SPACE, NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU SCHEME

My mind drifted, lost in space, where I could scheme,

About how I could get on the grammar school tether ball team,

I decided to replace short Paul,

By saying the ball was too tall,

I replaced Paul on the team, and realized a scheme got me my dream.