TIM IN LOVE

Every time Tim fell in love,💘💘💘 his love was unrequited,💔💔💔 

Though Tim's hurt gave him great misery😿😿😿💦💦💦,Tim's love was quite delighted,😁😁😁🐷🐷🐷

The loved💩💩💩, not love, is so cruel,😈😈😈

Heart breaker, then ridicule,😂😂😂👹👹👹👻👻👻🖕🖕🖕

Tim lives forever with misery, other's choices cannot be righted.😭😭😭🍺🍺🍺🍹🍹🍹🍸🍸🍸

THE BUG AWAY POWER OF CREAMS

My brother, from the time he was six,

Was crawling with head lice and ticks,

He had bug away power,

By taking a shower,

And anti-itch cream was the fix.

MY COMPANY MOVED OVER SEAS

My company moved over seas,
Now, I'm broke and down on my knees,
My boss is well fed,
I'm starving and half dead,
I'd eat snot; would someone please sneeze.

THEY LISTENED TO A MOOSE

There once was a wise moose named Fred,

Everyone would do just as Fred said,

Fred said to swim like an otter,

Drink your weight in water,

Then everyone all peed to bed.

THE DESPERATELY HUNGRY FISHERMAN LIMERICK

Carl went fishing and stepped on a hook,
It hurt really bad and he didn't want to look,
He had caught his big toe,
And, Carl didn't know,
If he had a toe recipe in his cook book.
 

GRANDMA BABYSITTER

While ma worked as a seamstress for grocery pay,

Grandma watched Dorothy each and every day,

Dorothy was real small,

Grandma, big and tall,

When Dorothy's feet hit the ground, Dorothy ran fast away.

OTTO PASSED MASS

Otto's tummy cramped real bad,

That made Otto very sad,

Then Otto did a pass,

Of a hard, hard mass,

It was the largest mass Otto ever had.

CUDDLE BUNNIES

I went out strolling with some little Easter Bunnies,

They ate Easter markdown chocolates, and got the Easter runnies,

The sick bunnies made me sad,

Their recovery made me glad,

They all cuddled up next to me, and became my bunny honeys. 

I'M DRIFTING TOWARD A MEGA STAR

I'm drifting toward a mega star,💀

In my new blue spaceship car,😞🚙

You just don't get a gravity pass,😒

When your car runs out of gas,⛽😱

I do have a backseat wet bar. 🍹🤗

 

THE WAY THAT JOHNNY ATE CHICKEN

Whenever Johnny ate chicken,
You could hear his teeth go a clickin',
He sucked the meat off the bones,
With the most vulgar tones,
And oh yes, he'd be finger lickin'.

THE EASTER PIG

🐖🐖🐖My little pet pig ran off to be free,🐷🐷🐷
But, hunters got him as he hid in a tree,😱😭🐗
Not knowing his name was Sam,🐽🐽🐽
The hunters saw him as another ham,🍖🍖🍖
He was served on Easter Sunday at three.🕒🕒🕒

 

ODE TO THE DAFFODIL

Oh daffodil, Oh daffodil,

Please pop your flower and greet the spring,

For only your iconic flower,

Will give my winter woes a wing,

Oh daffodil, Oh daffodil,

You are the jewel of my little yard,

Which, you festoon with a flower bloom,

Making a centerpiece on my Easter Card.