I WENT TO LAREDO FOR SOUP

I went to Laredo to find me some soup,

I heard they had cows that were deep in their scoop,

For I seek fertilizer,

I like the wet stuff cause I'm wiser,

For moisture's real scarce to mix with dry poop. 

THE COLORS OF TEETH AND BACK

If your teeth are green and black,

Keep your mouth shut to avoid attack,

From those having teeth whitey white,

Who brush for a  cavity fight,

But, have green hair from scalp to back. 

MY UMBRELLA SAILED BEFORE IT RAINED, SNOWED AND THEN HAILED

My umbrella failed,

When a tornado came along my umb sailed,

Not wanting to up-flow,

I let my umb go,

Then it rained, then snowed and then hailed.   

THE SPILL AND THE MINCE MEAT PIE FLY

I spilled tomato juice on my mince meat pie,

It dis-flavored the mince meat and I thought I would die,

And, my mince meat pie ala mode,

Tasted like feet of dead toad,

So, to the trash my pie took a fly.

THE BEARER OF THE JAGGED STEAK KNIFE

My steak knives are so incredibly dull,

The fat on my steaks my knives will not cull,

 My steaks tremble with terror,

For I'm the jagged knife bearer,

My knives give steaks something they can all mull.