THE CHRISTMAS UNICORN BULLY

Mark the unicorn was a menace to the sleigh,

He'd stick his horn through the sides and poke the elves everyday,

Mark poked Santa too,

Which made Santa boohoo,

The sleigh crew wanted the unicorn to just go away.

JENNY THE ASTRONAUT LIMERICK

All Jenny ever wanted was to visit planet Mars,
She had no ambition to seek out distant stars,
But the space program was shut down,
There would be no planet Mars town,
Now Jenny hangs out in pool halls and strip bars.

MY SICK FLOWER LIMERICK

My flower was looking real sick,

I think it was bit by a tick,

But, it was not of high station,

Like a rose or carnation,

So, I just gave my sick flower a pick.

SANTA MAN AND THE MILK COW, AND BEN

Mossy my milk cow, she pulled Santa's sleigh,

That's because the reindeer had all run away,

Santa had gained many a pound,

The sleigh wouldn't lift off the ground,

Mossy and bull Ben, powered Santa that day.

DON'T EAT THE CHRISTMAS TREE

Mossy the cow ate my Christmas tree,

She knew that I loved it, but she had to spite me,

Mossy had a smile, I a frown,

But I turned them upside down,

For Christmas dinner we had beef, and it was so tasty. 

ZOMBIE CAMP

There are lots of zombies living out on backwoods streets,

Waiting for tourist, seasonal treats,

So come stay a spell,

Where the real zombies dwell,

Free camping, if you bring someone for eats.

"COME ALONG FOR THE EATS"

ALL I WANT

I had a hot toasted pastry for my meal,

It burnt my lips and made them peel,

I saw Santa today,

My burnt lips could not say,

All I want is a glockenspiel.

FOUND THE NEXT DAY

Scabies covered nearly all of my skin,

They're itchiness gave me a grimacing grin,

The next day I was found,

I bled out on the ground,

The police said to my next of kin.